Talking About Miscarriages
Roberta Thomson

Roberta —

Like you, I had multiple miscarriages. Two before the one successful pregnancy I had and so many afterwards I honestly lost count. It was attributed to age (I was 35 when I started, 42 when I stopped), and bad luck. I always got pregnant quickly which kept me on the reproductive treadmill longer than I might have stayed on otherwise. My last pregnancy was picture perfect at the 8 week sonogram, by 12 weeks she was gone, and I was back for my twice yearly D&C. It was at that point, my husband (now ex) and I decided to pursue adoption. Within 18 months we were the parents of two beautiful babies, in addition to our beautiful born-to-us daughter.

I wasn’t shy about sharing the disappointment about so many pregnancies lost. I was glad to offer other women the chance to talk with me about their experiences. I appreciated, but loathed, the prayers to St. Jude (patron saint of lost causes) offered and the sad faces. They meant well, but unless they too had experienced a mis, they just had no clue.

My children are all grown now, but I will tell you this. Grieve as you need, but don’t let any loss define who you are. There are many roads to parenthood. I hope the one you ultimately choose — or which chooses you — opens and shines bright.

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