Blairites Are To Blame For This Brexit Shit

‘Look at his eyes, don’t listen to what he’s saying,’ Joel said as he toked on his spliff. I took Joel’s advice on a lot of things and he listened to me on the odd occasion too. We are like brothers. So I looked, closely, at Jeremy’s eyes during one of his key ‘Vote Remain’ speeches and ignore what he was saying.

‘He’s in trouble,’ I said. Joel nodded and started talking about his favourite porn genres (which wasn’t particularly relevant to the topic of this blog so i’ll spare you the details). It was like a silent bat signal, Jeremy was saying one thing but communicating another. It’s a genius hostage victim’s trick, delivering the speech he’s being asked to, but communicating something very different at the same time. He’s basically saying both, ‘these dudes are treating me well, don’t worry I’m having a fucking great time,’ and ‘shit, these fuckers are psychos and they’re going to blow my head off if you don’t pull your fingers out and send a decent SWAT team in.’

There were plenty of reasons for voting in and plenty for voting out, I was stumped until this point. Plenty people wanted in because they were worried about the financial aspect (not me, not in full-time employment), plenty of people wanted out because they were feeling squeezed or hated foreigners. For me, I voted out because I could see the Blairites had kidnapped a good man and were forcing him to go against his own beliefs, he wanted out of the EU. Christ, even I don’t know why Corbyn wanted to leave — maybe a fear of globalisation and shit. I’ve been on some pretty hardcore anti-G8 (or whatever) marches myself. All I knew was that I trusted his opinion, nobody has been proved right about history more than Jeremy. Look at the work he did in defeating Apartheid in South Africa and bringing peace to Northern Ireland. Plus, he’d fucked the Blair government over and over by voting against their right wing agenda — that’s why the public loved him and wanted him to be Labour leader.

So that, in a nutshell, is why me and millions of others wanted Brexit. It’s why even in the Labour heartlands, where Jeremy is a beloved figure, people voted out. They saw that bat signal, that hostage video, those panicking eyes and read between the lines. This is what pisses me off about the pro-EU Blairite press that tried to vilify the likes of me and my fellow working classes afterwards. We were following his silent instructions, it wasn’t some big racist push to keep foreigners out (#refugeeswelcome). Obviously there were a lot of voters who went that route because they were a bit racist.

Now the Blairites are crying because the country is in a mess and the current situation is unworkable because we’ll have no decent trade avenues when we’re denied access to the single market. They complain because any trade opportunities we do have, we’ll get the shit end because everyone knows we’re desperate. It’s like telling a used car dealer your old car is knackered and you need one desperately. His eyes fucking light up. Know what I say to this? Fuck trade, scrap capitalism. Solves the problem.

End of the day Blairites, don’t force a good man to go against his beliefs. It’s your fault, you should own this mess.