Decluttering Sentimental Items
The past isn’t always worth remembering⭐
When my father died in 2015, I was left with an entire household of memories that needed to be evaluated one piece at a time whether to keep it or discard.
It was impossible to keep it all. I could only hold on to a few items as space at my home was limited.
After I cancelled my father’s flat rental, I only had three weeks to make those choices.
The time restriction was a blessing in disguise as it kept me from wallowing and being indecisive.
Family members helped, so I managed to get through it on time.
Still, I couldn’t stop myself from filling six big boxes plus a desk, five chairs, two side tables, a plant and some rugs.
Once I had taken everything to my house, I stored most boxes in the loft, unable to cope with unpacking them after the stressful event.
Those boxes stayed there for years until the pandemic hit, and I found myself looking for something to do while being stuck at home.
I knew it was time to open up those boxes and face my past and my memories.
So I began slowly, one box at a time.
My new philosophy around minimalism and reducing possessions helped a lot.
There were lots of photo albums, many of which full with photos of my parents’ busy social life and travels.
I reflected on how they enjoyed themselves, but I knew it was time to let go of their experiences taking room in my house.
It sounds harsh, but hanging on to my parents’ lives felt heavy. I only kept a few photos of them both and burned the rest.
How many photos do you need to remember your loved ones?
Then there was my mum’s china collection. I only kept part of her coffee and dinner sets, but I realized it was still too much.
So, I gave all the coffee sets to charity but kept the dinner set, which was my parents’ wedding present.
I now regularly use the soup bowls (shaped like pasta bowls), but I’m not yet sure what to do with the remaining plates and serving bowls.
This is a work in progress, but deep down I know that if I don’t use them, they have to go.
It can be hard decluttering sentimental items. Not just those family heirlooms but also gifts from past lovers and friends.
Here are my tips to let go more easily:
If you feel unable to let go, then question and explore your unresolved emotions.
- What are you still holding on to that is represented by this item?
- Have you had time to grieve, or have you been stuck in the grieving process for too long?
- How can you find acceptance of what can no longer be changed?
How do those items make you feel?
If they make you feel sad, it’s time to let them go.
Keep them if you use them, and they make you feel happy.
If they are languishing hidden away in a box, unpack them and see how you feel about these items.
Decide whether to keep or discard them based on your feelings (happy, sad or indifferent) and how you would use them if you kept them.
Don’t put them back into the box. Make that decision.
Focus on the present and the future
Being stuck in the past can easily hold you back from opening up to new experiences.
But the past is history.
Discarding of sentimental clutter can lift a heavy weight off your shoulders. You start feeling relieved, light and more optimistic.
You are free to create space around you. Empty shelves and corners in your home. Regain a new sense of clarity and mental renewal.
Don’t be afraid to take the first step. Give it a try.
Start a Journal to process and heal from the past
Write a letter to a dead loved one. Ask them how they feel about you letting go of their possessions. Contemplate their possible answers.
Would they care or be bothered? Would they encourage you? How would they reply to you from a place of peace and love, a place void of any material needs and possessions?
Take some photos of the items you are ready to discard, and stick them in the journal.
A few weeks later, record in your journal how you feel about it and how it still affects you.
Perhaps it’s no longer on your mind or you regret it. Ask yourself why and explore ways forward.
One day, your possessions will have to be decluttered by someone. Are you bothered what will happen to them?
Everything is impermanent — our lives and all the seemingly important material things surrounding us.
They come and they go. That’s the nature of life. Give yourself permission to let go.
