How love dies(3)
Him : i don’t get it, you just changed. I was not your person anymore…it got worse.
Her:you became a heavy presence, but that was not me.
Him: when we argued, i always knew i was right, i knew…now i don’t, so am gonna lay off the defense here, without asking you to do the same, it’s not that game anymore, i want to know!
Her: it was not me, it’s not like i just got bored, or started seeing your flaws all of the sudden…it was not that i had higher expectations…i felt miserable with you.
Him:how is that me?
Her: i reached the miserable state after going through other phases: the not attractive enough phase, the judgy b!tch phase…you know how it is to feel unattractive physically and personality wise? You didn’t want to talk to me, see me for more than 15 minutes…you didn’t want to sleep with me, i was your heavy presence!
Him: we were in the misery state together!
Her: did you ever feel to certainty that i did not love you? Did you look at me and go: wow! She hates me!
Him: no…well until recently.
Her: i felt like that everyday…everyday, i can not possibly create that much pain from nothing.
Him:am not saying you did, but your sensitivity did aggravate the whole thing!
Her: my sensitivity…ok…what time is it?
Him: no! Keep going, it’s not your sensitivity, what was it then?
Her: am so tired i don’t have it in me to argue with you.
Him: no…..you just don’t care anymore.
Her: you used to call it nagging and being b!tchy…wouldn’t hang out with me to avoid it, now you ask me to fight through? Am done fighting you to get you, am done feeling worthless, am done Joe, just take whatever is yours and walk away, i promise it’s peaceful now, whatever you say am gonna give you a yes, just pack it up and leave.
She walks away.
But still, how is it even possible that a love as intense as theirs turned out like this?
She is so in peace with their seperation he felt there was nothing left in her for him, she is too calm, too forgiving, too easy…she surrendered.
He stood there alone with overwhelming sadness, trying to hold it in that his throat hurt, then started walking away from his car.