6 min readAug 2, 2015

Self Loathing in Early 90's Rock:
Put In Perspective by Facts About The Artists

During the mid to late eighties, at a time when people were celebrating the over the top visual style and virtuosic guitar solos of the Sunset Strip Hair Metal bands, Seattle bands such as Soundgarden and Mudhoney were culminating a sound which combined heavy metal with hardcore punk, that would eventually come to be what is known as Grunge.

Shortly after the release of Nirvana’s Nevermind in 1991, Hair Metal had been completely supplanted as the most popular Rock Genre after nearly a decade of massive success. Soon the unique sound of Seattle dominated the airwaves and other bands from around the world, realizing the viability of the alternative rock sound, followed suit and enjoyed decent success of their own.

These bands not only drastically differed from Hair metal sonically and visually, perhaps one of the most notable differences was in the lyrical content. While Hair metal band’s lyrics were very macho and dealt with concerns largely taken from blues music, such as love and heartbreak, the lyrical content of Grunge and similar alternative bands contained unprecedented introspective themes of shame, self loathing and suicidality; an incredible leap in terms of self awareness. And these songs weren’t just consumed by the elite intelligentsia, they received massive airplay and mainstream success.

In my previous article entitled, “Child Abuse Themes in Late 90's and early 2000's Popular Music”, I made note of the staggering increase in self reflection and child abuse themes within the lyrical content of many artists of the time and speculated that part of the reason for this was due to this generation of artists, Generation X, growing up at a time when divorce rates skyrocketed and children were incredibly lonely due to both parents entering the workforce. (It is well established that divorce is always stressful for the children and increases the risk or psychological and behavioral problems.)

You can read that article here:

https://medium.com/@joelpatterson_52315/https-www-youtube-com-watch-v-fguj3tvkgo8-db10bc63e54a

In this piece, I would also like to speculate as to what factors played a role in influencing the self loathing of the artists of the early 1990, which would have been born at the beginning of generation X. However, this time, I’m going to accompany each song with potentially relative facts about the artist’s personal histories. As someone who idolized many of these musicians, I would like these facts to expand our empathy and humanize these individuals. Empathy is a scarce resource in the world today and I think any increase of empathy towards individuals who garner it the least, such as those who are idolized, is a positive step forward.

Radiohead- Creep

Born in 1968, singer Thom Yorke formed his first band at the age of 10 despite admittedly having few friends. An abnormality in his left eye made Yorke the victim of teasing in his childhood, with Yorke telling Rolling Stone in 1995 that he often got into fights with his peers. [1]

STP-Creep

“When Weiland was 12 years old and living in Ohio, he says a “big muscular guy, a high school senior… [who] rode the bus with me every day to school… invited me to his house. The dude raped me. It was quick, not pleasant. I was too scared to tell anyone.

Weiland’s parents split up when he was quite young, and he spent much of his early life in Ohio with his mother and stepfather”[9]

Silver Chair- Suicidal Dreams

While I couldn’t find any information of Daniel John’s childhood and this info is about an era in his career after the above video, I still found it to be an empathy expanding quote. Anorexia is not an indicator of a happy childhood. Nevertheless, the suicidal theme is there.

“He says that his anorexia was caused by the pressure of being thrust into the spotlight at such a young age. “It had nothing to do with vanity, it was about protection, and then control. I was beaten up by this group of young men once and afterwards I thought, `If I get really skinny, they’ll stop picking on me; the press will stop picking on me.’ So I lost a heap of weight in a short space of time and it totally worked — they left me alone. After that, it became a really serious eating disorder that I couldn’t get out of.’’[10]

Nirvana- I Hate Myself and Want to Die/ Dumb

“When Kurt was nine years old, his parents divorced.[7]:20 He later said that the divorce had a profound effect on his life, while his mother noted that his personality changed dramatically — Cobain became defiant and withdrawn.[5]:17 In a 1993 interview, he elaborated:

“I remember feeling ashamed, for some reason. I was ashamed of my parents. I couldn’t face some of my friends at school anymore, because I desperately wanted to have the classic, you know, typical family. Mother, father. I wanted that security, so I resented my parents for quite a few years because of that.” [7]

Beck- Loser

“ After his parents separated when he was ten,[9] Beck stayed with his mother and brother in Los Angeles, where he was influenced by the city’s diverse musical offerings — everything from hip hop to Latin music and his mother’s art scene — all of which would later reappear in his recorded and published work. Beck obtained his first guitar at 16 and became a street musician, often playing Lead Belly covers at Lafayette Park.” [4]

Soundgarden- Let Me Drown/ Like Suicide

“Cornell spent a two-year period between the ages of nine and eleven solidly listening to The Beatles after finding a large collection of Beatles records abandoned in the basement of a neighbor’s house. Cornell was a loner; however, he was able to deal with his anxiety around other people through rock music.” [2]

“Cornell’s parents divorced when he was 14, and he dropped out of high school, taking a job as a cook.” [3]

Alice in Chains- Dirt

“Layne Staley was deeply affected by his parents’ divorce when he was seven years old. He described it as his childhood becoming a ‘nightmare.’ His father became a heavy drug user and vanished from his life altogether.”[5]

“Cantrell’s parents divorced when he was seven”[6]

The Smashing Pumpkins- Today

“His parents had one more child, Ricky, before divorcing in 1970.[2] His father was soon remarried to a flight attendant, and Corgan and his brother went to live with them in Glendale Heights, Illinois.[1]During this time, Corgan alleges he was subject to much physical and emotional abuse by his stepmother.[3] Corgan also developed a protective bond with his younger half-brother, who had special needs as a child.[4] When Corgan’s father and stepmother separated, all three children would live alone with the stepmother, with both of Corgan’s birth parents living separately within an hour’s drive.” [8]

Pearl Jam- Jeremy

And interesting example on this list because the song is about another child’s suicide, rather than that of any of the band members.

“ “Jeremy” is based on two different true stories. The song takes its main inspiration from a newspaper article about a 15-year-old boy named Jeremy Wade Delle fromRichardson, Texas who shot himself in front of his teacher and second period English class of 30 students on the morning of January 8, 1991.[2] In a 2009 interview, Vedder said that he felt “the need to take that small article and make something of it — to give that action, to give it reaction, to give it more importance."” [11]