It all started when I walked in to the store and saw the washed out Spider man t-shirt. Upon a second glance it was accompanied by a unique collection of t-shirts representing the ever popular comic superheros.
Then the store clerk approaches declaring her intentions to help me select a suitable shirt. I smiled and commented on the uniqueness of the printed tees, and proceeded to mentioning that I’m here for a job interview.
The girl’s eyes widens and she called my name like I’m the awaited rescuer of this fashion outlet from the slumming retail sales. She then turned around to get the manager.
Few seconds later, a woman in her late 40's arrived shook my hand and directed my to the back of the store where a make shift office area was hastily put together. There was the office chair where I expected her to sit and a plastic chair probably indicating for use by subordinates. With my mind trying to determine which chair I will get, she lifted her purse off the plastic chair and a protruding fuzzy green handcuffs came to view and with a very Raspy voice like she has been screaming a lot recently I was directed to sit down.
I sat down and noticed a pile of manuals accompanied by few job applications that has, Amber, Brianna, Denise. I thought am I the only guy being interviewed for this position! Topping it at an angle was a picture of studded metal collared woman on what looks like an adult fetish magazine. Finally next to the pile was “The One Minute Manager” book.
I shifted my focus quick towards the interviewer and noticed Snake Tattoos cradling her neck from both sides, with other body art images covering the cleavage, arms and hands. A notable half appearing tattoo of a naked woman on display with the other half covered by the rolled up shirt sleeves.
Thinking okay will the interview start please, as the past few seconds have been filled with images that I didn’t want to see. From the drawer came out a new job application and once my name adorned the cover page of what I estimated 15 pages application, the first page had 4 questions and I got asked the first one “Why would you like to work for us?” after answering that professionally, the manager proceeded to flipping the pages with 3–4 questions per page appearing and disappearing.
About half way through the application I got a second question regarding my working hours preferences. Followed by more page flipping while I’m thinking all of these questions I’m not getting asked is weird. Finally two thirds into the empty application I was asked “About a time where I went beyond the call of duty in helping a customer” once I approach mid way point of my answer I was interrupted and told in a fake strange combination of accents trying to be Texan + Californian “Right on! You Kinda Like to Gerha Done !” I interpreted that as “Get things done” as a reference to my perceived work style of getting things done.
Suddenly the conversation stopped and that was it. Was only asked 3 questions in total and the obligatory will be contacting the selected applicants within the next few days came about. Walking out of that interview was like going to the fair and getting on a ride only to find out it was too short and feel cheated.
There could have been an interview about a job, what I got was 3 minutes of sensory overload.