The Gift Exchange

He was flashy and spoke endlessly about his materialistic possessions. Little did she know, he was compensating for an incorporeal lack, deep within his soul. He was a Leo with a Scorpio moon, struggling to find balance in his life. He yearned for a mother’s touch. He was all man but he lacked that motherly bond that we all need from birth. She gave this gift to him. Each day was a pressing battle and the casualties of his inner war, raised in number around him.

She was kind hearted, weak and lonely. She was the prey that every overpowering, dominating man craved. She was forgiving and loving. Soft and tender. An alpha male’s dream woman. She looked for the good in every evil and was determined to pull it out at all costs. She was abandoned early in life by her father so she needed to feel needed. He gave this gift to her. She was a Pisces with a Cancer moon, full of water, sensitivity and intuition.

There were calls and texts at 2 and sometimes 3 am. He needed her. He would constantly get into trouble and the only person who cared enough to bail him out was… her. His trouble excited her, it gave her the, “I’m needed” feel. It filled the void that ached in her depths… the void that made her feel like she was nothing. To him, she was his savior, his everything.

Restful nights turned into sleepless ones. She tossed and turned when he didn’t come home. She thought something bad had happened to him until the symphony played and the butterflies that God assigned to our intuitions danced. He was with another woman. She could feel it the moment he touched her, though they were miles apart. The only time she slept is when her tears led the way. She would wake up with heavy bags under her eyes, ready to hide from the world. She would call and text him to no avail but when he called her she was always…

Again, he needed her. She’d see his face flash across the screen and her stomach would drop. “Why doesn’t he call the bitch he was just with?” She pondered. Instantly she’d be filled with guilt and shift the blame back to herself. “I’m all he has.” She’d think to herself…

“Why isn’t she answering? She’s all I have…” he’d say when she didn’t pick up on the first ring. He’d call again and again. He was selfish and determined to get what he needed. He knew she was weak. He knew she had daddy issues like he had mommy issues, so he preyed on it. Didn’t he know he was her prey too? When she rescued him, the respect she initially had for him died, little by little. Respect became a corspe riddled with a demeaning stench between them. His alpha male persona was stripped each time… he was becoming, her son.

She cooked and cleaned for him. She catered to his every need and listened to the stories he told about himself without letting her get a word in inch wise. He’d buy a new outfit or new phone and show it off to her. She’d smile and say, “That’s nice baby.” She was becoming… his mother.

The sex… it was sketchy. While they both found ways to become aroused, perhaps thinking of other people they were more attracted to, the internal chemistry was non existent. He wouldn’t look in her big brown eyes. His kisses were light and empty, void of passion. He didnt talk dirty to her or tell her how sexy she was. The room was weirdly filled with emptiness. Forced, heavy breathing bounced off of the walls. She wouldn’t lubricate, her body refused to naturally respond to him in the way she wanted it to. They tried to be lovers when the toxic bond they shared was of the mother/son descent. He’d finish and turn his back to her, she’d get on the phone and flirt with other men, hoping to find someone to finally fall in love with.

When the two split, she was able to get her strength back. She learned to say no to dominating men while still keeping her sweet demeanor. He, is still battling, but is determined to get his life back on track. He’s tired of his own ways. They love each other to an extent but know its best to never connect in that way again. “Thank you for your darkness, it taught me something…” they say to one another …

When you meet someone, neither of you are empty handed. You both bring something to exchange with the other, whether it’s good or bad. The good is what we all want. It adds to us and makes us happy. Though this is a desire we all have, don’t look down on the bad. The bad teaches us a necessary lesson that shapes us into better people… if we allow it. Next time someone comes into your life, don’t just examine their gift to you, examine yours to them…