The 6 kinds of Tea Drinkers on a film set.
After spending years working on countless sets in various positions you tend to spot a few trends in the tea and coffee drinking habits of film types. Here’s a selection of the kinds of folks you’ll find sipping away on set.
The posh coffee-ers.
They want a double macchiato with soy milk from the local independent coffee shop and obviously ‘don’t drink that instant shit’. They’ll make a whole song and dance about how ‘ I’m not a diva, I’m just very specific about my coffee’ but spit it in your face if you make the wrong move. ‘I thought I told you Pret, not Nero, are you an idiot?’.
Cup of tea 1 sugar, oh don’t have sugar that’s cool I’ll find one. I usually have a black coffee but white is fine. A sign of relief by runners can be heard all round when you get one of these. Sometimes they’re a rare breed on more-stuffy shoots but nothing is better than someone that doesn’t vomit in their own mouth at the sight of anything without a shot of almond in it.
I’ve had plenty of people spit out teas and coffees on me. Now I make a decent coffee if I say so myself, I usually put this down to being given a dodgy kettle or the local café getting the order wrong. But the classic line following a coffee being spat back into the cup and handed to a runner is ‘I’m not being dramatic, try it and see how bad it is’. Yeah that coffee you’ve just spat into looks real appealing right now.
The bring from home-ers.
We all know one. They carry round that warm carton of half drunk Alpro Almond milk every day. You told them that they had almond milk on location but he doesn’t believe you, ‘come back with a black coffee please’. Busy with something important? No we can lose you on a 30 minute run to wholefoods to get some organic rice milk for the director.
The colour chart-ers.
There’s an urban legend that a certain crew member out there carries a beige colour strip and will ask runners to take it and ‘make me a seven’. Come back with a tea that’s more chestnut than Sandalwood and expect it to get spat back in your face.
The anything will do-ers.
Salute to the guys and gals who take what they can get. Black instant coffee? Sure. Cup of milky tea? Fine. A Bucket of hot water with an old sock thrown in? Well only if it’s going spare. These guys are runner’s best friends and the true set heros.