Let’s Celebrate Our Vaginas
I am currently reading Naomi Wolf’s book, Vagina. Every woman should read it. So should every man for that matter. It will change the way society, in all cultures, views women. It makes rape and female genital mutilation even more horrendous, and as if that were possible, right? It is.
The vagina has been diminished for too long, and I do believe that the time for women to step up spiritually, and own their sexual power, is now.
Amongst my friends, and women I have met along the way, I have encountered time and time again, women who don’t know the ins and outs of their anatomy, and nor do they want to know. I am included on this list by the way, I didn’t start getting a mirror out to look at myself until my college years. Up until that point I joined the teenage ranks of thinking it was just for weeing, sex or bleeding.
Not at any point did I consider that it would be a good idea to ‘connect’ with my vagina. Connect? What a bizarre notion.
The female anatomy is almost seen as a curse. Instead of recognizing the power females can yield, women’s genitals are tarnished with unpleasant names, like hairy axe wound, gash, badly packed kebab, flange, and this is to name but a few. Personally, I do like the word cunt because it is the ultimate taboo word, it is so shocking that it upsets people! Growing up with these terms one comes to accept them as normal, they are just words after all, but sadly, the notion of the female anatomy always seemed to provoke disgust, amongst my girlfriends.
I never really questioned this status quo, despite feeling a certain amount of embarrassment over my labia, for no particular reason, it never really held me back sexually. Though I have met women who are mortified at the thought of a partner looking ‘down there’.
However; I have a daughter now and it is wonderful watching her grow up without a body complex. She is 7 and she is relatively unexposed to the media. It does concern me that with a move back to the city she will become bombarded with media images and more media savvy friends and she may start to perceive the ‘perfect body’ and compare herself to that.
I think we can all pretty much agree that young women, and men, are more vulnerable to the powerful images they are bombarded with by the media. ‘Mainstream porn’ is perceived to be the biggest culprit in causing such discontentment among girls about how their vaginas look. I meet boys who currently feel that women should be hair free, totally. This may well be the influence of ‘mainstream porn’ on our youth, but note that I use the term ‘mainstream porn’ because I know that there is a lot of porn out there, known as feminist porn, which doesn’t conform to a hairless female prototype, nor a gigantic cock for that matter.
The huge and powerful media machine plays an enormous role in the subjugation of women in Western societies, and young men have fallen prey to it too. Our culture created, a long, long time ago, a construct of sexuality which was destructive and divisive — inadvertently forcing individuals to conform to an acceptable type or be slayed by their very own family and peers.
Women and men lost their innate, spiritual and sexual power.
So what can we do about it?
We can’t stop the media machine, besides, media is fun. I am the first one to buy Vogue magazine and drool over the models and the clothes. Media images are also stimulating and inspirational, but we have been socialised into believing that happiness lies in these material goods. We know, if we can detach our perception of happiness from materialism and start to fully reconnect with ourselves, and our capacity to give, and to love, then we will eventually realise a new form of abundant happiness, which comes from cherishing our mind and body. We have been conditioned into either accepting the way that we are or changing it through plastic surgery, rather than enjoying and genuinely owning our bodies.
This is pretty much Wolf’s message too, women need to reconnect with themselves, authentically. If women can do that, they will also connect more deeply with their partners. Through Wolf’s book I have become reacquainted with an interest in Tantric sex and Tantric massage. When I was younger, I loved the idea of it, but back then, I preferred hot, rough bursts of sex and admittedly it felt like a lot of mumbo jumbo. Today it feels intuitive for me to follow this path.
I want to embrace my own sexual superpower and fully own it.
My journey of sexual reawakening continues………..