Fearing the “Ma’am”

I see it everywhere; Women are afraid of getting “ma’amed.” But why?

According to this Cosmo article, ma’am means you’re getting old. You’re no longer young, carefree, and beautiful. The gist of the article is, if you’re a ma’am, you’re no longer fuckable. And no one wants that!

Maybe it’s because I’m solidly in “miss” territory and I don’t see getting “ma’amed” as an impending threat, but I think I look forward to the day I graduate to the title. When I think of a ma’am, that woman is a boss ass bitch who will not take your shit. They deserve respect and they will not listen to your whine. They have better and more important things to do with their time. A ma’am is capable and independent. Maybe it’s just my opinion, but those two adjectives are the greatest things to which I can ever aspire.

To me, being called “Miss” is the lesser title. When I think of a miss, I think of a younger person who needs help and doesn’t have the experience necessary to get through the world without being chased after with the wallet that they forgot. Misses need help to accomplish small tasks and use phrases like “adulting so hard.” In Chinese, “miss” can be literally translated to “little lady,” xiao jie. The phrase also has sexual connotations. In general, the term miss, when I think of it, makes me feel uncomfortable.

A miss is not a grown up; she is an infant who is not capable or independent.

And let’s not forget that men don’t have these age markers; they’re just sir throughout their entire lives. So what, do they never earn the respect necessary to advance to another title, or are they just always respected from birth?

Language and titles reflect how our society views gender. Until we do away with these age markers, I look forward to the day I get ma’amed.

When I get ma’amed, I’ll know that I’ve made it in the world.

When I get ma’amed, I will be respected, even by strangers who do not know my name.

When I get ma’amed, I won’t have to keep proving myself as an equal.

When I get ma’amed, I will no longer be a sexual object for someone to ogle and comment on.

So to the writer and editors of Cosmo, who decided that an ageist and sexist article should be published and and read by young impressionable minds, can you fucking not.

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