How truth sets you free
Truth is hurtful. Lies are beautiful. But is that really true?
Have you ever experience a time when you choose to not express your honest thought and feeling about something you really wanted, due to the pressure of someone else? They may or may not know what you truly wanted, but they have somehow lead you to pursuing or deciding on something that you end up resenting later.
Do you remember a time when you choose not to tell the truth because :
- You don’t want the truth to cause a change
- You are afraid of the uncertainty of the outcome after the truth is told
- You worried the truth might affect your status/reputation
- You are just ‘not good with confrontation’
You could think, “I am not lying, I just simply choose not to tell the truth”. Sure, it can be comforting, for a while. But here is something for you to ponder. Imagine one day, when you finally found out that the person you cared about has been hiding from telling you the truth. The truth on how they actually feel about something you have said or done unintentionally to them, but you were not aware of it during that time. How will you feel when you found out the truth?
Most people don’t choose to tell the truth because they are unwilling to have to deal with the emotions that they have to witness from the receiver. They might claim, it is for the best, and it was done to protect the other person’s feelings. But if you think about it, are you really protecting the other person’s feeling for not telling the truth, or are you actually protecting your own feelings instead? How do you know how the other person might react before you actually told them the truth? You might think you know them, and you think you would know how they would react, but is that your assumptions or is it the truth? If the person value having you around in their life, they will understand and respect your decision, because you have the right to make a choice for yourself.
We refuse to accept the truth that could affect our feelings. So we unconsciously convinced ourselves that truth isn’t true, and lies are the truth.
We choose to tell white lies or not to tell at all because, let’s face it, people don’t need truth to make them feel bad, so we choose to either go with their plan, or pretend you really wanted what they wanted for you, to avoid confrontations and disagreement. Until you started to feel the stress from not being true to yourself.
Are you guilty for being honest?
- Understand the real consequences of keeping the truth.
- Know that you have the right to be truthful and it is not up to you to decide how the other person will feel about the truth.
- Accept the fact that no matter how the other person might feel about the truth, you can’t always make sure that their feelings are protected.
- Acknowledge that you too, have your needs and telling them the truth wasn’t meant to hurt them, but simply to clarify what is really happening to you, and what you truly wanted.
- Resentment will build when you hold back on your true feelings after a while.
Don’t get me wrong, being truthful doesn’t mean you have to say nasty things to people just because they upset you. It is healthy to express your feeling, when the issue involves you. But spilling your judgement and opinion on someone else’s issue, however, is simply just you putting out your opinion on someone else’s issue.
The one who matter would understand that you are telling them the truth because they matter to you. They will understand that you are just being truthful in telling them how you really feel, and they will appreciate your honesty.
Honesty requires courage. Have the courage to accept differences between you and others. Honesty is beautiful, because it gives us freedom. Being true to yourself is the key to true happiness.