Gun Tales: Three Dead Kids

My thoughts on dumb gun control examples that are cited from true cases in the media.

Imagine asking someone why we shouldn’t get rid of guns, or at least create better legislation to control them so they don’t kill so many people every day. The person responds to you on Facebook with a list of true cases in which they claim gun ownership would have prevented tragedies. These are real cases, real people, and they are politicizing the suffering of real victims.

Three Dead Kids

A woman awakens, sits bolt upright on her couch.

‘It’s too quiet!’

Looking around the room, standing and peering out the blinds.

‘The kids are gone!’

Her cell phone is buzzing on the coffee table. She sees the name BASTARD as the inbound caller, a wave of fear and panic spreads across her face.

She stutters answering, then sits mute:

MOTHER: Hello?

BASTARD: I have the kids. We’re at the fair. I’ll bring them by soon.

He hangs up.

She frantically makes another call.

DISPATCHER: 911, what is your emergency?

MOTHER: My kids are at the fair with their father. He took them. I have a restraining order against him. Get the cops!

DISPATCHER: Do you have any proof that he violated the restraining order?


DISPATCHER: We’ll send a car by to make a report.

MOTHER: But my children are in danger!

DISPATCHER: At the state fair?

And so on.

This story ends with the father taking the kids to the police station. Because he can’t bring them within one hundred yards of their mother. Because he’s a criminal and she’s his victim: domestic violence. When he arrives at the police station he shoots the kids and then himself.

If only she had had a gun! She could have taken the law into her own hands and done something. Imagine, like the 2nd Amendment defending freaks we know:

DISPATCHER: But you don’t have any proof that a crime has been committed.

MOTHER: It’s OK, I got this.

Mother hangs up.

Mother is in her bedroom, keys in the code in her small closet. The clothes slide automatically out of the way and the secret panel slides up to revel her concealed gun wall. She pulls a black case off the wall and places it on her bed. She opens it and tightens her red Rambo bandana around her forehead. You know, to keep her hair out of her eyes. In the case we see her AR-15.

Mother climbs the water slide next to the fair. Pulls out her binoculars and scans the area. Atop the ferris wheel we see the three kids in a car together with BASTARD, they are eating ice cream. Mother takes aim, shoots BASTARD in the head. Blood and whatnot splatter the kids. Ice cream, blood, and gun vengeance!

Next, the police are putting mom in the back of a squad car. The kids have to live with family or go into the foster care system. The end.

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