24 Hours After My First Sex Party

It was Saturday night and my friend was hosting a pop up strip club event at her home. So I was already geared up for a sexy sensual evening. It was framed to be a sacred celebration of the female — something I can really get behind. My friend asked me if I’d like to perform. Of course, I said “yes”.

As I walked in the door and deposited my costume in the back room she said to me. “So, we are planning on going until 11 and then we are invited to an after party… Actually it’s a sex party. Do you want to come with us?”

I’d been seeing a man who identifies as polyamorous and felt that I was behind the game. Frankly it’s hard for me to find even one person that I feel I can be sexual with and I felt the need to stretch my horizons. “Yes.” I quickly responded. “ Yes, I definitely want to come”.

I wasn’t sure what I was getting into. I had heard of sex parties and play parties before. I had heard that it was very similar to a regular party with people talking and having fun together with the difference being that if you were getting sexual with someone you could just have sex right in the living room.

That was not the case for this party. Not at all.

When we arrived, I was only slightly surprised to find my hosts wearing pretty S&M-ish gear. One was wearing a black thong and a dress made entirely out of fishnet. The other was wearing a corset that didn’t cover her breasts and her nipples were so erect that they were protruding about ¾ inch. I was trying not to look but I wondered if she had put something on them to make them bigger.

As we were waiting to hear about how this was going to go down, a very hairy and chubby man walked through the room, wearing a black hat and a leather harness. And nothing else.

The hosts were all about business. There was a huge liability waiver with items like this is a non judgemental space- all genders and gender fluid people are welcome. You must reveal to any partners if you have an std. Consent is required for all touching of any kind. There is a table with lube and clorox wipes. No exchanging bodily fluid. The only intercourse that is permitted is in the back room (which BTW has a live feed to the screen in the front room). Oh, there is a live sex show in the middle of the room.

When we walked into the main room, there were about 30 people at different ‘stations’. There was a tantric massage station, one for spanking, one for nipple play, a massage table with a large buffer and a mattress on the floor with a vibrator on it.

People were wearing leather strap outfits. There was a man who was covered in rope- with a very elaborate knotting system, and heels. Many people were wearing huge sexy heels. There was a muscular man in super hot black platform heels with spikes on them. I thought about my gold sparkly heels that were in the car and decided that retrieving them wasn’t worth the effort. There was a woman in a fishnet outfit, masquerade mask and a large powdered wig who waved at me. I really felt like I knew her but couldn’t place who it was.

As I was taking things in I noticed that a friend of mine and his girlfriend were on the mattress. “Shit” I thought to myself, “how am I going to handle this?” I knew that they would eventually see me. I weaseled my way around the bed on a platform in the middle of the room and headed for the buffer. The girl getting on the table to be buffed was also someone that I peripherally knew and watching a man buff her ass and inner thighs was not overly sexy, but a bit intriguing.

Then my friend found me. He came over and hugged me fiercely. “Oh I’m SO glad to see you? How are you?” We proceeded to have a very normal talk and he told me that his girlfriend had attended the “Slutwalk” in Denver that same day. I had to go ask her about it. So next thing, I was on the mattress talking to her about the “Slutwalk” which is a public event started in Toronto where women dress like “sluts” and spread the message that someone’s outfit is not a justification for sexual assault.

As we talked he gently grabbed her hair and grazed her neck softly with a riding crop. It was odd having a conversation when that was happening. It was apparently a loving interaction but one that caused a lot of tension. It made it a bit difficult for me to focus on talking with her. I was internally wavering between being offended and being turned on. It was a strange emotional place to hold while talking about a protest march. After a few minutes we were winding down and I heard someone yell out my name.

“Cuni!!!” I turned and my friend “Newly Blonde” was rushing towards me. “I never expected to see you at something like this” she said. “Look at how red my ass is! He spanked me (pointing). He spanked me really good!”. I felt her ass and was amazed that it was still hot. Then she ran off again.

My friend and his GF were leaving so I got up to tell them goodbye. I looked over to the tantric massage table but the line to be massaged was about 5 people deep. So I wandered back over to the empty buffer table- feeling suddenly awkward again. The friends that I arrived with were nowhere to be seen.

As I hung around the buffer table my friend came back by. “Do you want to try?” she asked. So I lied down and she buffed my back and legs. It felt good but not sexy by any means. After a few minutes she pleaded numb hands and jaunted off. A lithe blonde woman came over to investigate. “What’s this” she asked. I told her that I’d give her a buff. She took off her dress and laid down and I worked the buffer over her back and legs. Then I focused on her sacrum, pushing down on the buffer. The design on her pink panties became blurry as her pelvis started vibrating furiously.

As I was buffing, I looked into the mirror that was hanging on the wall. Behind me, the live sex act had started. A man and a woman were standing next to a bed making out. But what I noticed was the woman in a masquerade mask and black thong that was laying on the bed. She had pulled his cock out and was slowly working it up and down with her mouth. It was a big cock. Distractingly big. I lost control of the buffer and it almost off of my new friend and onto the floor. I pleaded that my hands had become numb (which was only half true) and stumbled back over to the mattress.

There were 7 people on the mattress. As I planned my strategy I said aloud “It doesn’t look like there is any room”. “Oh we will make room” a few people responded. I just found a tiny space and set myself into it. I was sandwiched between a guy (behind me) and a couple of slender beautiful girls who were passionately making out. There was a lot of touching of arms, asses, licking of necks. All in all it was titillating, but not anything that pushed my boundaries too much. I heard a snap and looked over to my right. There was a woman tied to a big padded sawhorse who was being whipped while people watched.

The woman next to me was getting really turned on. I could smell her pussy getting wet. It was sexy as hell. Someone was rubbing the front of her panties and one of the guys grabbed a bullet. “Would you like this?” he asked. “Yes” she breathed. She was right next to me, our hip bones touching, and I could feel it as the wave of orgasm took her over.

With the exception of making out with a few people and grinding on my friends leg when she was moaning in the pile of humanity, I kept to myself pretty much. I don’t think that makes me a prude, or better than anyone. I just wanted to really be cautious and respect my need to feel safe. If I had gone to a sex party for the first time and agreed to have myself tied to a sawhorse and spanked or fucked a stranger, it’s likely that I would chastise myself for it later. I made an agreement with myself that baby steps were okay. That defaulting to little to no risk would always be the choice that evening.

When I got home I felt dirty and covered with the sweat of other people. The smells of aroused people had turned from fresh and enticing in the beginning of the night to sour. The thought of climbing into my bed without showering was offensive. After washing my body and soul clean, I retired into my very own sheets.

24 hours later I have had some time to process. The most prominent and profound thing was the empathy and acceptance in that atmosphere. The focus on consent was clear and people asking each other “Can I touch you there” and “Do you like that” was sexy as hell. I didn’t see posturing. I didn’t see power dynamics for anything other than pleasure.

Everyone found the energy intoxicating. As different women had loud orgasms, everyone felt that pleasure. As the man in the live sex show climaxed, the whole room turned towards him and watched as he lost control of his body in pleasure.

Do I feel bad about attending? Not at all.

Would I do it again? Yes, definitely.

Am I going to tell most of my friends about the experience? Not at all.

Ultimately the lessons I learned were:

1.Knowing your limits is key. If you respect them, you will still feel good the next day.

2.There is no shame in attending a sex party. If someone is there, they are experiencing the same curiousity and openness to exploration that you are.

3.Always leave before it’s actually over. Nobody wants to be the last one at a sex party. Stay Classy America.