How to Find Out if She’s Really The One
Jim Jones
1K76

Josh,

I think it’s noble that you have attempted to subject your relationship to struggle to check for sure footing before building a foundation for a life together. Definitely an engineering way to look at the relationship. The problem that I see, is you did not test it for the elements that tear apart modern marriages.

Travel was a great idea, and probably would have been a good test for marriages beginning in the 40's-60's. However, many aspects in male female roles, power dynamics in relationships, and the role of sex, have all changed dramatically. Most notably, since the development of smartphone technology. They dynamics in travel and school, will not apply.

I’m going to tell you some things now. You are not going to like them.

Your marriage will begin to dissolve in the middle of year two. You won’t see it or feel it. She will.

I hope you put off having a child.

Beginning of year three, your wife starts seeing a therapist to help deal with work related stress. It’s not work related. She doesn’t know what’s wrong.

Mid year three. You will start feeling strangely liked by other women. Not sexually or romantically. Just admired.

The fighting begins, you don’t know why. Counseling begins. It’s a waste of time, the marriage was over over a year earlier.

After a short reconnection blissful time, separation occurs.

Divorce.

The only advice I can offer is to read the book “mating in captivity” by Esther Perel. It may keep you together. But right now, your marriage will only last about 4 years. If you have a child, maybe six, plus the torment of visiting rights. It has nothing to do with who she is or how well you know each other. You are both about to act out unconscious patterns of behavior that you have internalized since being a toddler.

I’m sure she’s an amazing woman. Brilliant, loving, attentive, loves the details, slightly perfectionist, quirky humor, and deeply in love with you. All around incredible.

But that won’t stop her from divorcing you.

Good luck.

P.S. If it’s an open relationship, non-monogamous, then ignore what I said. Thanks!

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