The 12 Days of Database Christmas

My brain has a tendency to wake up way before everything else in the house, so I try to keep it occupied best I’m able without disturbing anyone. This may explain why so many if my plans are well flushed out, as I have a tendency to hash them out in the early morning hours as a way of letting the rest of the household sleep. This morning, on the eve of Christmas, I may have let my brain offer a Database Administrator twist to an old Christmas favorite…

Yes, to the tune of “the 12 Days of Christmas “ :)

The Twelve Days of a DBA’s Christmas

On the first day of Christmas, my database gave to me, a huge a$$ report to read.

On the second day of Christmas, my developer gave to me, two pathetic procedures and…

On the third day of Christmas, my system admin gave to me, a ton of third-tier storage…

On the fourth day of Christmas, my business gave to me, four slashed projects.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my user gave to me, five Cartesian joins….

On the sixth day of Christmas, my architect gave to me, six nodes clustering

On the seventh day of Christmas, my analyst gave to me, seven tables scanning…

On the eighth day of Christmas, my scheduler gave to me, eight mviews refreshing…

On the ninth day of Christmas, my merge statement gave to me, nine sessions blocking …

On the tenth day of Christmas, my subquery gave to me, ten latches locking…

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my manager gave to me, eleven Web meetings…

On the twelvth day of Christmas, my DevOps team gave to me, twelve tasks to automate…

Merry Christmas Everyone!


Originally published at DBA Kevlar.

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