Oh please. You’re not dealing with a nube, Gutbloom. “Not mandatory”? Then explain why my browser is locked, the response button is glowing red, and the Medium Terms of Service appeared in a pop-up window.
The last time I disobeyed, a phantom post apparently written by me appeared in my feed entitled “There’s One Too Many Women in Tech Already (You Know Who You Are).” And it somehow got 14,000 reads! Not only that, my Twitter bio was changed to “#1 Austin and Ally Fan.” And whenever my phone rings, it sings the name “Ev Williams,” but like the commercial jingle “By Mennen.” How did Medium even know Seinfeld is my favorite show??
To all reading this. Respond. RESPOND. Unless you enjoy being labeled a misogynist fan of Disney kids programs and being constantly serenaded by the name of a benevolent tech lord to the tune of an 80’s antiperspirant jingle. But if your into that, hey, I’m not judging. I dig chicks with glasses. We all have our thing.