A Secret Letter to Black Millennials

Everyone Else Should Just Stop Reading Now

Hey Y’all,

I’ve been thinking about writing this for a couple of months, but I’ve been busy and I figured you wouldn’t listen to me anyway. But it’s the weekend before the election, people are talking extra nonsense on Twitter, and I’m African and we stay opinionated so…here it is.

I keep hearing smart, progressive people of color arguing that we shouldn’t be held accountable for winning or losing this election for a candidate like Hillary Clinton who doesn’t adequately represent our values. We don’t trust her, she said “super predators,” she got emails and what has she done for us lately?

I get it. No doubt she’s smart and capable, but we all know Hillary Clinton seems hella guarded, is probably not telling us “something” about “something,” and she might well be the first presidential candidate who would have been better off using Snapchat for official government correspondence.

Let’s be honest, we all like Obama better.

He’s smart and cool, and every speech he gives sounds better than the last one. He’s like Al Greene without the grits. And now that he’s leaving, we’re seriously trying to figure out how anyone can measure up.

Fortunately, since this is a private conversation and no White people are reading this, I can tell you the straight up truth: no one is gonna’ measure up. A brotha’…