That’s gotta hurt

Because Martial Arts Are A Waste Of Time

For those of us who have been in the martial arts world for a considerable length of time are accustomed to being treated a little bit differently, particularly by our male peers.

Someone will make a comment like “…..But I know you can protect yourself” or “You’d just turn me into a pretzel”. Yes, these are comments that I actually have experienced.

But over the last few years, I’ve noticed a stunning trend. I’ve been seeing lots of folks who have either been pushing their self defense businesses or trying to make a YouTube name for themselves, claiming that the martial arts doesn’t work.

They will have really professionally done web pages up showing how their system is far superior to martial arts. There’s always some sort of teaser video of someone, normally the “Inventor” of the system, demonstrating one of his “Secret” techniques that no Black Belt will ever understand. It’ll have flashy graphics, intense background music, maybe even voice overs.

I have to admit after looking at some of these pages, even I get intrigued.

At some point on the page they’ll have customer testimonials like this:

Yes, I actually copied this from one of the websites

They’ll say that what we practice, (and honestly, I love this), doesn’t work “in the street” or other such nonsense and then they’ll “prove it” by having some stooge throw a traditional twisting from the hip punch and then say something like “Now who have you ever seen in a bar fight punch like this?” or again, some other BS.

And then they’ll go on about how things in the Dojang never reflect reality and how what they’re teaching is far superior because of its reality based techniques.

They’ll go on and on…….and on…….and on……and on…..

Well folks, I’m not going to get into why that guy attacks with a punch like that in a Dojang because this article will never end, but I can tell you that there’s a lot more going on there than just some guy throwing a really weird punch, instead I‘m going to let all of you in on some really cool Inside Baseball type information but you have to promise not to tell anyone…

Ok? I mean it, you can’t tell anyone….

Here it comes…..

The BIG revelation…….

THERE ARE NO “SECRET” TECHNIQUES!!!!!!!!!

That’s right folks, none. Zero. Zip. Nada. Niet. No secret techniques at all.

What???????? That can’t be right!!!! The Ultra Secret Self Defense System website said they teach only the bestest, most secretest fighting techniques that can be found and they’re really good people because they’re only charging me $19.99 per month to have unlimited access to their videos. And not only that, but I can view them on any of my internet connected devices. Yeah, ANY of them!!

OK.

Just for kicks & giggles, lets do some math. I know, seems like I’m changing the subject, but just play along for a moment.

The earliest fossils of anatomically modern humans are from the Middle Paleolithic period, about 200,000 years ago. And according to Oldest.org the oldest martial art is Wrestling/Grappling “with the earliest depictions of wrestling dating back to Egypt circa 2000 BCE — however, wrestling probably dates back to the early days of humanity as statues older than the Egyptian images show what can be interpreted as two men grappling or wrestling.”

From the data given above the human body hasn’t really changed in approximately 200,000 years, and the martial arts, in various forms, have been around for approximately 4,000 years.

So what do you think the probability is that some clown in 2019 has discovered “secret” techniques that only he knows and is willing to share them with you for a mere $20 per month?

Let me ask you another question. If the things that you learn in a Dojang are so unrealistic, so out of date, so full of “Mumbo-jumbo” then why do these guys try to enhance their credibility by recognizing their own martial arts ranks?

Think I’m kidding? Take a look. Here’s the “Meet your instructors” page from the same website:

Self Hate, Bro???

Now it may seem like I’m targeting one particular site. Honestly, I’m not. I just really like the layout of the one that I’m using for examples but there are hundreds of these things on the Web. Just do a quick Google search if you don’t believe me.

So if the martial arts aren’t effective, or they’re “Mumbo-jumbo” or out dated, or whatever, then why would these guys recognize their own rank and training while telling you how ineffective martial arts are???

Because there’s nothing “Secret” about what we do. There’s no mystical 5-finger death punch that will make your heart explode after walking 3 steps that only certain, special ulta supreme masters know. There aren’t secret, advanced, or “Killer” techniques that you won’t find in a Dojang. They simply don’t exist. All these guys are doing is what we do when we host general public seminars. They show the physical techniques that they all learned in a Dojang and none or at best, very little of the theory and/or principles behind the techniques, add some really cool and semi-aggressive vocabulary and Bingo!! A new, better way to defend yourself and all for the amazingly low price of $19.99 per month.

Because martial arts are a waste of time.