Cause Lovin You is Uneasy【=◈︿◈=】
September 15, 2014
“Why go all the way to California to see Porter Robinson?”
I took advantage of my only day off going on a crazy adventure that could have been well worth it or a huge mistake that will be regretful. All I did was drive hundreds of miles to understand Porter Robinson’s visions more clearly, hoping to find answers, then come back home. This was a test of my endurance and determination. It was definitely worth it! His Worlds Tour wasn’t like your typical EDM event, it was more of an experiment of what he truly likes in music, keeping away from the rules of what makes EDM. He barely played any of his popular songs and there were hardly any drops, yet people still went nuts.

The moment I set foot inside the venue, it felt nothing crazy like what I’m used to. The closest of it feeling like a rave was everyone taking their shirts off due to the humidity inside and being forced to feel sweaty bodies all over as I marched closer into the stage. There weren’t that many kandi kids there either; most of the attendees consisted of hipsters / PR impersonators. The vibe was close to how I viewed EDC 2011 where I was all alone and I didn’t know anyone, yet I got along with everyone very easily. The only difference was that I felt content not having that overwhelming need to feel energetic. The only time I raged was in the middle part of Fellow Feeling. When the people around me saw me dancing to that bit, they suddenly started talking to me. Instead of getting to know each other, we were interested on our interpretations of the whole set. The visuals weren’t necessarily trippy but rather showed a story the entire time while he was playing. It was about an adventurer roaming around the Earth as it hits an alien vision in a retro 16-bit anime / video game format. Watching it felt like a self-evaluation session similar to Above and Beyond’s Group Therapy. It made me wonder what placed me to where I’m at today.

Probably wouldn’t have experienced it without this:
Cerela “trix” Guiriba — homie, text buddy, and rave partner [somewhat lol!]
I’ve been posting about her a lot and noticed some are annoyed by that… in which case, I don’t care. Our friendship was difficult to explain towards others. Met her at a New Years party called OMFG ’14. It started off as two strangers passing by, mutually raging to an upbeat song. At that very moment, we’ve gained immediate trust with each other to the point where I dropped her home after the party was done. Whenever I swing by San Diego, she would make me feel welcome there and offer to hang out. We’ve only hung out twice in our lives, but we effortlessly made the best out of those moments. Ever since then, she would also text me on a near daily basis, it was mostly a natural flow of us encouraging each other to keep moving forward which was pretty rare for me to do.

I stopped texting back a week prior to her passing because I was at the lowest point of my life. I wanted to take the time to chat with her but I wasn’t able to say much because I was so busy getting my life together. The moment where I took the initiative to lay low, it was too late. It was hard to express my grief because none of my friends knew her [apart from the select few] and I didn’t know any of her other friends. Her death hit me harder than the majority of people I’ve known. It was mainly because of our personal conversations regarding religion and the afterlife as well as her life being cut too short [19]. I recall spending a chunk of my playing money that I spilled my guts earning [$400 — $800 range] for her funeral. I hope she sleeps easy now. Which is more than what I can say about myself.
I seriously hope no one experiences losing a rave partner. Make sure you tell them you love them regardless if you’re just friends or currently in a heated argument, may never know when it’s too late.
Much thanks to:
@damnnjustinn on Instagram
Sources:
http://www.nme.com/nme-video/porter-robinson-edm-is-entertainment-its-not-art/3606803350001
