Today I am the best person I’ve ever been

I don’t know what it’s like for everyone else when they turn 40 but as a woman who has recently arrived at this watershed age there are some things I wish that I had known or maybe really listened to when someone tried to tell to me.

1. Everything you eat suddenly makes you fat. I don’t just mean that your metabolism has effectively stopped and you gain weight 1000 times faster then you can lose it. I mean that if you eat sugar you need to need to crash into a sugar-coma 10 minutes later. Or if you eat carbs you will immediately feel like a bloated hippo and suffer from stomach cramps for hours after. You come to realise that the only way to feel good is to eat as little as possible and it better only be greens and fish.
2. You are now viewed as “mum” (at best a MILF) or a “mentor”. You are no longer one of the gang at work. It’s like an overnight switch goes off in everyone else’s brains. Now people say things to you like, “you would be such a cool mum”, “I would love to look like you when I get to be your age”, “will you be my mentor?”.
3. On a Friday night you would rather stay at home and read a good book or binge watch Netflix than venture out to a restaurant or bar. Queuing up to buy an overpriced drink or even to use a toilet with no toilet paper left just so you can wear a skimpy LBD in uncomfortable shoes is in no way appealing. You feel tired just thinking about it.

4. Maybe you shouldn’t leave the house without wearing big sunglasses or make-up. Otherwise everyone you meet will ask if you’re feeling sick because of how you look. It’s a funny one this, but your skin is just a little older and less even in appearance. The fine lines are really there now. The eye crinkles are not cute but rather emphasising the bags under your eyes. And the tan that used to give you that healthy glow is now making you look leathery and a little like a raisin. And so rather than saying that you look “old”, people choose the word “sick” out of politeness.

5. You have a bit of a realisation of the true meaning of mortality and a life-is-short freak out. More of your friends seem to have gone through some challenging life changing event like divorce or cancer. You question all the choices you’ve made and kick yourself for wasting any moment.

But what comes with all this is actually an overwhelming sense of gratefulness.

I feel wise and sage like.

I know myself better than I ever have and I actually think I’m a pretty great lady.

I know what I like, and I don’t put up with much that I don’t.

Although there are some downsides like having to eat a lot less, there are tons of upsides. Like realising that I don’t care what people think about me that much anymore. This is mostly because I realise that no one actually thinks about me as much I do myself so there’s no point worrying.

I live less in the future now and more in the present. I’ve spent most of my adult years looking at what’s next. Now it’s a more balanced approach. Stopping and smelling the roses and realising when you’re having a really great moment. Like laughing and giggling with a friend so much that you’re crying and possibly wee your pants just a little.

I realise that time is my favourite thing in the world and I get to choose how I spend it every day. I get to choose who I spend it with and how I feel at each moment too.

I give myself permission to have afternoon naps. Not every book or article I read has to be about self help and motivation. Sometimes it’s ok to read something trashy.

I appreciate all the different relationships I have with everyone in my life. I make time for them and look forward to the future of them.

I hug my children every chance I get, especially now they’re getting all teenager and try to wriggle away.

I seek out time with my life long girl friends who have known me at different stages of my life.

I remember to look at my partner, really look, and tell him that I think he is sexy.

I want to spend time with my family — all of them. Because it really is true when they say that blood is thicker than water. These guys have watched me change with the seasons of my life.

So being 40 is actually kind of awesome really. Today I am the best person I’ve ever been and I’ll be even better tomorrow.