Is Helping Condoning?

This morning I happened upon a great article titled, “ I’m Getting Divorced. Why Won’t My Church Help Me?”
(Read more at http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/im-getting-divorced-why-wont-my-church-help-me#8ECWEYXTiaEw5Ju3.99) and there was a point to where the pastor wanted to offer ways that the Church was being supportive but maybe did not know how to support an issue like divorce because Christians have always been so steadfastly against the practice. In fact, in my experience, the Church goes out of the way to celebrate underdog divorce stories where there was no hope and God intervenes and the marriage is saved. Miraculous!

There came a point to where he says, “ But am I condoning divorce by helping? Or is it simply being loving and merciful despite the circumstances? It’s hard to know what’s right…” and I think this is a very tight rope to walk. Is it a violation of my faith to support someone who may be acting against what Scriptures say. Jesus himself said, “ He said to them, ‘Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.’” in Matt. 19:8–9. But did you notice who he is speaking to? Not divorced people seeking mercy from God but instead it was a group of Pharisees testing Jesus. Christ’s ministry time on earth showed few signs of the tensions between what is right and what is merciful. For this, I am envious of the clarity and this is a primary reason I turn to Christ in my inability to act justly.

I do believe that the Christian faith needs to be malleable like silver. There is an extreme importance in being able to be hammered, stretched, twisted, and in many other ways altered from original form but while still maintaining structural integrity. At the same time, I am trying to uphold what Scriptures commands for godliness. Matt Chandler, in his sermon last Sunday, said something like, “When God commands something or demands obedience, it is important to understand that he is not taking anything from us but instead he is trying to give us something.” This is liberating and encouraging to me but the tiny little “realist” voice (which creepily sounds a little too much like my Dad) says, “So where do you draw the line? What is permissible and what can you honestly call out as wrong?” To this I have no answer.

To put in bluntly, I deal with this issue all the time. I try to adhere with Micah 6:8 which says that all the Lord requires of us is, “ to do justice, and to love kindness and to walk humbly with your God?” Sometimes I react very calmly to this issue and trust heavily enough in God’s sovereign power to acknowledge that he is in control. Other times, I feel so strongly that I should be engaged with the situation to be an extension of God’s actions. Dietrich Bonhoeffer put it best in “Ethics” when he said, “Responsibility is the whole response of the whole person to reality as a whole.” What this means when fully fleshed out? I still, very honestly, I have no idea. I only hope in 2 Peter 1:3, which says, “ His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him his own glory and excellence”. So I will continue to ask, “Is my help condoning whatever situation I am trying to be merciful in?” and I will try to trust that the answers and solutions will be/are already being provided and to look to Jesus as an example. Just look to Jesus.