Give, Give, Give

Until you have nothing more…

Women are raised to give… others, look after them, make them happy, put them first. We do it subconsciously and mostly willingly. This is not new, there is research to the moon and back about this and how we can change it.

And I know this. And I want to change this for myself.

For someone that loves change, creates change and leads change, you would think this change would be easy. Sometimes it is….I can rationally say to myself “actually, I don’t need to do X today, I need to look after myself”. But sometimes it’s impossible as its subconscious. These are usually the times with family and tonight my children.

I love them to bits, of course and I’m their mother, my job is to raise them safely to be fabulously productive members of society.

But tonight I have nothing more to give. I have fed, watered, cleaned, explained, supported, homeworked (new word) and asked repeately for them to LISTEN. Of course if NOT listening was an Olympic sport, they would have GOLD medals!!!!! I am not alone here, most parents say the same.

As I finally tuck them in, kiss them good night and wish them sweet dreams, my 10 year old daughter says “Mum…..can you” and I immediately said “No I can’t”. I didn’t even hear what she asked, the words NO were out of my mouth before I realised I’d said them. I felt awful and explained it like this…

“mummy is tired sweetheart. I don’t have any more to give tonight, so I need to go and sit and not do anything. I love you and I will help you tomorrow, but now mummy just needs to sit down.” She was quiet and then said “good idea mum, I love you, I’ll see you in the morning”.

And just like that, I changed. One small step for man, or woman in this case…..

PS — I left her room and came down to clean up the house and write my story. So not quite doing nothing yet…….but its progress!!!

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