Dear Hillary,

Please stop making it so hard to defend you

Hi. I know you might be a little busy right now. But you keep unknowingly pulling me away from my work so I can defend you, so I figured I had to say something. Because I like you. I really do.

A few weeks ago I didn’t want to wade into the primary. I didn’t in 2008 when I made my decision relatively close to my primary date to vote for Barack Obama. But I read some excellent pieces by some excellent writers, and I decided to reevaluate my opinion of you. And congratulations, you have my support in 2016. But you are not making my life easy, Hillz.

Please, please, please stop shaming women voters who don’t vote for you, or laughing about it with older prominent feminists. Even people who support you are getting tired of hearing about the glass ceiling. It’s awesome. It really is. But we know you’re a woman as soon as we look at you. You don’t have to talk about it. Besides, everyone else is already talking about it for you. You had to know that that wouldn’t go over well.

I actively believe you are the better candidate in this primary. It is not a popular opinion among my very progressive and very intelligent friends. Some of them even say they will write in Bernie’s name in the general even if you win the primary.

Now I know a lot of the narrative about you being a “liar” or a “cheat” or even a “soulless neocon” (the internet isn’t very subtle nor forgiving) are lies or exaggerations. The sad fact is that that narrative is out there. And even though it’s rooted in a decades-long GOP campaign against you, the far left has co-opted the narrative and put their own spin on it. So anything you do that has the faintest taste of impropriety is going to get scrutinized because it fits that story. It’s not fair. It’s not okay. But it is what it is.

I don’t know how to change the narrative. I only ask you to stop feeding it.

You’ve got to be aware of it. And you’ve got to be careful. (And yeah, the more careful you are the more people will cry “inauthenticity” but that’s the least of your worries)

You’re so good at the nitty gritty. But the sad fact is that the nitty gritty usually doesn’t go viral. But things that are out of the norm of expectations do. I’d love to see you publicly support female Sanders supporters. Take Albright’s quote about “There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t support other women” and use it to say that you support women to make their own decisions, even if they choose not to vote for you.

Sexism and misogyny made me reevaluate the common narrative that surrounds you. But it didn’t earn you my vote. You earned my vote through your stances — ones that many people don’t necessarily know about — and through your ability to deal with the complexity that is modern politics.

I know that you have been trying to get your message out there. And the “progressive who gets things done” is flying pretty far. But it’s not enough.

In 2008 there was a very clear page on President Obama’s campaign website that addressed smears. If I were you, I would put a blatantly honest page up on your website that addressed the accusations of being a liar. Find out what’s been going viral and address it directly. The best part about it would be that you could highlight some of the many ridiculous lies the GOP has been telling about you for years — showing how the narrative first got it’s legs.

Of course, the defense for so many things is often “it’s more complicated than that.” So make the complicated defense. Talk about regrets. Talk about learning from mistakes. Learning from years observing what a President could or could not do. Learning from inside the party about party politics.

Learning and changing isn’t a bad thing. Just a decade ago progressives were calling out Dubya for his “stay the course — no matter if it’s the wrong course” attitude. You’ve been criticized for changing course. Reframe the discussion. It’s a feature, not a bug, to be able to reconsider important issues. It’s a strength, not a weakness, to understand the complexity behind “yes” or “no” votes.

You might not be the status quo, but you are part of the establishment. Own it (maybe not with that language, though). The establishment isn’t a block; it’s a continuum. Today’s anti-establishment candidate is tomorrow’s head of the DNC.

You know how to get things done. You’ve gotten that slogan out there — now you need examples to go viral. But the only thing going viral on my feed is feminist-shaming. You need explicit, viral-ready moments that show you getting things done. Even if it’s a nitty-gritty thing.

It’s wonderful that you went to Flint, Michigan. But a quick google search only shows that you spoke and called the situation “immoral.” You can do better than that! Are you repositioning some campaign resources in the area? I don’t know what the best solutions are — but you do. So don’t just talk about them. Do them! You’re calling on congress to pass a bill to provide money. What’s that money going to be used for? Can your campaign do any of those things instead?

I don’t know the answers to these questions. I know it’s all much more complicated when you’re you and on the national stage. I just know that it would make my life so much easier if you would stop feeding the narrative.

I’d love to share some positive articles about what you’re actively doing (shared the “Bernie tells BernieBros to cut the sexist crap out” and people eat that stuff up!). But you’ve gotta work with me here. Do something blatantly honest that no one would ever expect from you. Please? K…thanks.

And good luck, Hillz. I’m rooting for you.

**UPDATE: WEBSITES

To be fair, the campaign does have a “Get the Facts” page on her website. But I recommend a separate website that people can go to, publicly run by the campaign. One that:

• Is separate from the campaign site
• You can get to without being asked for a donation
• Has a number, if not all, of the major concerns above the fold (which, in webspeak, translates to towards the top of the page so people don’t have to scroll)
• Says nothing about Sanders. Or only talks about him to point out where he’s done something comparable (although I’d leave this to other people to point out). This proposed website is only about setting the facts about you straight; telling your side of the story.

**UPDATE #2: WE WOMEN

The fallout from the condescension from some of your prominent feminist supporters isn’t going away. It has major legs. It doesn’t matter if it was taken out of context or not (Though I really don’t think it was. It was not a good moment.)

Ask your supporters to respect a woman’s right and ability to choose in all things — even elections.

I’d love to see a speech about supporting all women, no matter who they decide to vote for. You’ve fought your whole career to be taken seriously. You are part of the “establishment” and that’s one hell of a miracle considering what a boys’ club it was when you started and continues to be. But you know what it’s like to have your actions and opinions attributed to your vagina instead of your brain. The best thing you could do would be to ask your supporters to respect that women are also using their brains, even if their brains lead them elsewhere. Ask your supporters to roll back on discussions of sexism. Ask them to respect a woman’s right and ability to choose in all things — even elections. After all, I hear there’s a special place in hell for women who don’t support other women.

So much mud is thrown at you. Even when a problem itself isn’t tainted by sexism, often the framing of it is or the fact that it’s even being focused on is. But while sexism is the reason I reevaluated you, there are plenty of reasons besides sexism for people to reevaluate you: The fact that politics is more complicated than simple yes & no votes (several of Bernie’s votes show this too); the fact that the first accusations of lying came from the GOP.

But we need action. Show, don’t tell. Show you trust women.

(Oh, and while we’re at it, I’d love for you to get down and dirty about speaking fees. If Donald Trump and Michael Bloomberg can trumpet that their fortunes allow them to be free of influence (despite where that money came from), building funds makes a whole lot of sense. If it’s about fearing poverty, fearing being beholden to others, that’s something people can relate to. Might as well get as much money as you can from the financial institutions! It means more freedom for you and ever-so-slightly less influence for the financial institution. And how are you going to influence them unless you talk to them? I’d love to see you talk about your own fears. Though I do realize that that’s politically risky. But a surprising, relatable, undeniably honest moment might be just what the doctor ordered.)