The Jeremy Corbyn Charity Tour

‘The Jeremy Corbyn Story That No-One Wanted to Publish’

You see the above headline? Apart from sounding incredibly clickbaity, it was a ‘story’ published today on Independent Voices, so apparently someone was willing to publish it. Of course, this is Independent Voices we’re talking about — the platform that takes the stories even Comment is Free won’t touch.

Clickbait pieces are like scabs on your legs — they piss you off, but sooner or later you give into the desire to pick at them. Plus, this one sounded halfway interesting. What ‘secret’ was being kept from us by the evil ‘MSM’? Surely the public had a right to know!

It turned out to be written by a man called Crispin (a Corbyn supporter, natch) whom it appeared was rather ticked off at the fact that the event which he had taken the trouble to organise wasn’t getting the media attention he thought it deserved. You see, Comrade Crispin is the erstwhile creator of the #JC4PM tour, which he describes as ‘a fantastic range of talented people who will perform or speak for Jeremy…these talented people (who) are prepared to put their reputation on the line for the Labour leader’.

Of course, it could equally be described as the following; — ‘a bunch of far-Left quasi-celebs undertaking a comic relief tour for a comic relief candidate’.

What ‘reputations’ are being put on the line here? You have far-Left singers (Billy Bragg, Charlotte Church and Brian Peter George St. John le Baptiste de la Salle Eno), far-Left StW poets and directors (Rosen and Loach), far-Left politicians (McDonnell and Livingstone) and a bunch of other people whom nobody outside of certain Twitter circles has ever heard of (presumably the kind of pretentious tossers who refer to themselves as ‘poets’ or ‘comedians’) who’ve all come together to do some sort of charity tour for a mate of theirs — and expect it to be news.

You know what this is like? It’s like that douchebag emo band down the road. You heard them once and you thought they were shit — and so did almost everyone else. But they won’t quit. They sit in their bedsit all day smoking reefers and moaning about how they’re under-appreciated by the idiotic public who can’t recognise their obvious talent.

#JC4PM isn’t going to change any minds. No voters are going to hear about it and think ‘well, if a bunch of notoriously far-Left gits plus some people I’ve never even heard of say that Corbyn’s great, they must be right!’ This is, plain and simple, an opportunity for devotees of the Cult of Jezza to come together and join in songs of praise to the Messiah of North Islington. A chance for people to go to a packed out hall in Kentish Town, Bristol, Edinburgh, Croydon and Newcastle and think to themselves, ‘well, this hall is full of people. Wow — look at the momentum we have behind us!’

Crispin, you thought the ‘mainstream media’ were ignoring you out of malice. They weren’t.

They were ignoring you out of pity for the once-proud Labour party. The Labour party which you’re currently in the process of turning into some glorified far-Left protest group.

Good luck with the shows. I’d tell you all to break a leg, if I weren’t worried that some of the cretins who belong to your movement would mistake that as a threat.