Yesterday
If Only I Had Known…
Warm notes of nutmeg, clove, cinnamon, and vanilla envelop my senses.
All the scents and flavors of this season always take me back to the past.
They embrace me like the warmth of your hugs,
And the comfort of being in the kitchen with you.
As I turn the handle on the grinder,
It’s as though you are here beside me,
Checking over my shoulder to see if there are enough onions and celery.
Ensuring the stuffing will be just right.
Every autumn and winter, I find myself needing to remember my tenses.
There will be no more calls or shared celebrations.
Each year, that reminder is like an assault on my senses.
I never imagined that you wouldn’t be here.
The heat in the kitchen, the dough in my hands bring me to our very last…
Well, our last everything.
Not that we knew any of those moments would be our last,
Or rather I didn’t. Did you?
If only I had known that each moment,
Mundane or unique should be memorized.
That each was to be our last.
That the connection of a lifetime was about to be…
