Taking action on anti-semitism
“Did we have to take action so soon?”
“Well I suppose we could wait until The Prime Minister brings it up again at next week’s PMQs?”
Another Labour Party member had said something anti-Semitic. But this time it was an MP, and knowing she was down to do a number of Grunswick CLP screenings, there had been — shall we call it — a degree of hesitation before suspending her, and we were suffering for it today.
“But this isn’t for us to deal with. It’s for the Politburo… I mean the NEC.” Sean was even grumpier than usual this morning as he puffed away on his pipe.
“We need some clarity over our policy on Israel.” He continued. I couldn’t work out if he realised he was talking out-loud.
“Ugh, what is that smell?”
“It must be the compost bin.” Jeremy had insisted on composting everything from last night’s egg sandwich extravaganza.
Jessica our Head of Political Consciousness, was deep in thought, strumming her fingers on her hardback copy of our soon to be bestseller, The List. Snapping out of her trance she enquired as to the big guy’s whereabouts.
“Dunno. Still on a picket perhaps?”
“Is that still going on?”
“I think he’s doing a Q&A outside St Thomas’.” Nancy, our Head of Finance and Redistribution of Wealth replied as we all burst into giggles. Wiping away her tears she continued, “No, I think he’s actually giving a PPPE lecture.”
“Where?”
“I think I heard something about The Institute of Pauper Studies or something — TIPS for short.”
It was time we turned to the issue at hand.
“So this Naz thing, what’s our response?”
“Do we have to say anything — besides I don’t see why we should be putting out lines that contradict what Momentum is saying.”
“I thought we didn’t like lines?” I added.
“Well tbf…”
“Grammar Diana!” Jessica snapped. (Jeremy has insisted if we do speak, we say the entire word.)
“Sorry.” Diana continued “To be frank, Ken has said far worse, surely we should have done something about him by now.”
“What has Ken said?” Sean barked, somewhat defensively.
“What hasn’t Red Ken said my dear” Jessica began. “Comparing a Jewish journalist to a concentration camp guard?”
“He was being ironic!”
“…. Calling all Jews rich?”
“Why that’s a compliment…” Sean sighed as he went to gaze out of the balcony most probably to pine for his old comrade Galloway, the one true King of Bradford West (who, like Ken — Sean mused to himself — would never have allowed any such solidarity with the Palestinians to be misinterpreted.)
“Zounderkite.” Jessica mumbled to herself glaring at Sean’s back. (Jeremy has insisted that if we do swear, we use only mild Victorian swear words.)
“Look we are going round in circles” remarked Esmond our fresh new recruit who had been selling newspapers at protests before proving himself to be leader’s office material — organising countless petitions with Witney Momentum branch.
“We’ve said what needs to be said. ” Esmond continued. “She simply made remarks that she doesn’t agree with.”
I thought Jessica was going to throw something at him. He continued. “She said she had even shocked herself with the comments. Can’t say better than that.”
Sean was trying his best to clandestinely leave but ended up failing miserably when he tripped over a compost bin. Looking sheepish he seized the opportunity to pose Jessica once again the same question he had been asking all morning.
“Jess, this Sputnik TV thing — are you sure Jez doesn’t have the time to do a short spot tomorrow with Ken and George….”
“For the last time, no!”
That seemed to silence him, for the time being anyway. He began to shift somberly out of the room, having failed his comrades once again.
“So are we agreed then team?” Jessica began. “An official enquiry and a pro-active package for Jewish members?”
“That all sounds rather complicated. We could always just do a review?”
“Great idea! Let’s get Ken to chair it!” Sean commanded brightly.
It was going to be a long week.
