Sorry, I Forgot: A Suicide Squad Review

Before we get started, let’s establish the fact that I don’t know shit about DC superheroes and villains, and if you’re in the same boat, this movie 100% will not change that. But you should still go see it because let’s be honest, you don’t have shit else to do. In a Marvel-dominated world of superhero cinema, Suicide Squad appears to be DC’s answer to the Avengers; or at least part of it. If that was the mission, they failed. It’s still bang bang Marvel gang on this side and I ain’t sorry (I ain’t sorry, I ain’t sorry, DC, NAH).

Written and directed by David Ayer (Training Day, Fury, other movies), Suicide Squad is a movie about supervillians-turned-superhero-but-also-still-supervillains that band together to save the word from, you guessed it, a non-human creature that’s created a big circle of destructive light in the sky.

After seeing it, I can totally understand why the reviews are what they are, but I still enjoyed it. Just taking the movie for what it’s worth: forgettable characters, several “um, okay, I guess” moments; incredible gun scenes; Margot Robbie being Margot Robbie, it’s really not THAT bad. It honestly felt exactly the same as BvS. For some people that makes you want to throw up, for other that makes you want more of the DC Universe. I’m choosing to be part of the latter.

While I may have enjoyed it, it definitely wasn’t a perfect movie. One problem is that it simply lacks direction. You have no clue why exactly you’re watching, or what you’re watching for. It’s essentially a waiting game with no reward. When the movie ends, you’ll be sitting there like “Um….Okay? Now what? Oh, that was it? Hmm. Interesante.”

Another problem is that it tries to force you to empathize with the villains, but you never develop a true care for them because they’re..well..villains. Am I supposed to care if they die? I don’t. While already lacking direction, without a character to root for, the movie has no true purpose. Every single one of the characters could have died and you’d feel absolutely nothing, which leads me to Suicide Squad’s main problem: the characters.

Outside of Harley Quinn (Margot WRECKED that), and maaaaaybe Deadshot (because it’s still Will Smith), you really don’t remember any of the characters. I’m no expert, but with such a star-studded cast, that shouldn’t be the case, right?

Will Smith — Deadshot

Kinda sucks for him that America is going gun-crazy right now, so you’re looking at the character like damn, man…I hope the next Dylann Roof doesn’t see this shit and think “Challenge accepted.” There’s even a scene with him talking to his kid about guns and how to shoot the perfect shot and you’re like noooooo don’t do that, Deadshot! Don’t do that! But aside from that scene, Deadshot, much like the others, never has a defining moment that declares his necessity.

Margot Robbie — Harley Quinn

Can I have more Harley Quinn in my life right now, immediately? Please? PLEASE?! Because that character is absolutely delicious. And I’m not talking about Margot Robbie; her sexiness goes without saying. Harley Quinn was easily the best character in the whole film. Her dynamic personality combined with her unpredictability makes everything she says/does soooo much fun. The character has a certain quality that makes you want a full movie of her and the Joker vs the world. I need it, I need it. *Young Thug voice*.

Viola Davis — Amanda Waller

I feel like Viola Davis is always playing someone evil, but good god, she’s amazing at it. I hated this character so much, which I think was the point. Every time she’s on the screen, there’s this tension where you don’t know if she’s going to murder an entire box of puppies, or be that box of puppies. It’s a power that commands attention in a movie of little attention-commanding elements.

Jared Leto — The Joker

I honestly didn’t see the point of him being in the film. I walked in super excited because they made it seem like he’d be an important piece of the film, but nah. I guess he’s there to give more power to Harley Quinn, but out of all the characters, she’s the last that needs a boost. He would just pop in and out at random times on some “Remember me, guys?” shit and it was like “Oh yeah, you are in this movie, huh?” But eventually it’s like “Dog, could you get out of the fucking way?” Sit yo ass down somewhere, J.

Jai Courtney — Boomerang

Who? Oh yeaaaahhhhh, he was in this movie, huh?!

Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje — Killer Croc

To be honest, I didn’t need him in the movie at all. He didn’t really do shit and his “powers” are kinda wack. Sorry, Adebisi. Also, he was a wildly stereotypical black man, which I didn’t understand, but I guess that’s what happens when there’s no black writers in the room. I don’t know if that’s a fact, but I’m going to declare it as one in a very irresponsible fashion. He really didn’t have to say “shawty.” He didn’t.

Jay Hernandez — Diablo

For this man to have such firepower (see what I did there?), he doesn’t really use it all in this movie, until one single major fight scene. But that whole scene, you’re wondering where he was the entire movie and why it took so long for him to surface. I guess they did that to play up his back story, but in the end it’s like “Bro…You didn’t do shit. Get out of my Caucasian house.”

Yes, that is a Joanne the Scammer reference built into a movie review. I’m outchea flying.

Cara Delevingne– The Enchantress

She’s the main villain and most powerful, but you still look at her like “Yo…she’s pussy. Somebody get her outta the paint.” That’s really all there is to say about that. The central conflict of the entire movie revolves around her, yet you don’t give a fuck about her existence or her diabolical schemes.

Joel Kinnaman — Rick Flag

Much like Boomerang, he’s there, and that’s very nice of him. I guess he’s supposed to be the good guy that causes you to care about the group’s survival? I guess? Maybe? Bueller?

So with all of that said, what do I rate it on my personal scale of Theater, Redbox, or Nah, Nevermind? I’d say Theater. It’s definitely worth getting off your ass and going to a theater for, in my opinion. But if not Theater, it’s definitely a strong ass Redbox.

P.S. From this day forward, unless there’s absolutely nothing to see, I’ll be releasing movie reviews every Friday. I’m not promising they’ll be great, I’m just promising they’ll exist. So you can tune in, or you cannot, but either way, the boy shall be present. Next up: Sausage Party.