Live life on your own terms

I am 24 this year. And throughout my whole teen to early adult life, I have not been living true to myself.

The stuff that I used to do:

  • Hanging out with “friends” — the kind that do not appreciate you or does things that hurt you.
  • Hanging out with people just to feel included.
  • Joining events that I do not find enjoyable, as my friends asked me along.
  • Watching or doing things recommended by others, and continuing at it, just to please them.
  • Continuing to chase girls that aren’t even remotely interested in me, all for the sake of getting a girlfriend to fulfil my own self-worth.

In 2015, things changed. I was doing my exchange studies in Stockholm, Sweden and travelled around Europe extensively. During one of my solo trips to Barcelona, I had an epiphany.

I realised that you have to be true to yourself. You have to live life according to your own terms and not according to other people’s agenda or societal expectations of you.

Be your own man (or woman). You don’t owe anyone anything.

With this in mind, I did these in the later part of 2015, when I returned home:

  • Distanced myself from the “friends” that I think are my friends.
  • Breaking off from certain types of people, who are hindering me from having a growth mindset (as they are usually the types who say things like this and that can’t be done)
  • Not being a try-hard to always please other people. (E.g. When they invited me for some event that I do not enjoy, I simply said no thanks)
  • Which brings me to this point: I learnt to say No.
  • Actually spending more time with the people that I care for and who actually cares for me.
  • Enjoying life in general without all the false pretensions, and thus allowing me to pursue the things that I want to do (like meeting new people, travelling and writing on Medium)

So what changed?

I was happier and led a more fulfilling life, whilst doing and achieving more in the process.

I am glad and grateful that I am living my own life now.

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