Firstly, I hear your pain. My heart breaks for the plight of you girls. However, blaming this on ‘men’ and ‘the Patriarchy’ is buying into a straw man distraction. Attribute the blame where it squarely lies — at the callous, hyper-driven industries creating the trends cleverly exploiting female misery for ludicrous profit. Many of these are driven by women.
Let’s look at the Fashion Industry, as one example. Women’s magazines, edited by — you got it — women, yet? Hyper-unrealistic photoshopped models on the covers. And, the message underneath it all for you girls? “your worth as a girl is tied to your ability to perform to this ideal”. Performance-based worth, in a rigged game like Fashion? it’s a soul-destroying killer.
Girls are raised on sexualised media, impossible fashion ideals, and have you objectively looked at Feminism lately? It’s brutal to women! You’re a ‘gender traitor’ if you want to focus full-time on nurturing your children as mother; you’re a ‘gender traitor’ if you aren’t performing to a superhuman feminist ideal, or if you dare to think out loud “Can I *really* “have it all?” There’s an emotion-based belief that women can ignore the immutable law of the universe - Equivalent Exchange: “ One cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost.”
It’s a cruel lie that you should “have it all” or you’re a failure. Anyone with a brain knows you can’t have everything and sacrifice nothing. You need to choose what you want, and what to sacrifice in order to have that.
Back to Fashion. We men can see the fashion industry despises girls with a super-frenemy hatred. We just don’t say it as, when we do, we’re attacked with a fervour that’s not worth the effort. When we point out the Pick Up Artistry scene manipulates using THE EXACT SAME STRATEGY the Fashion industry does, to ‘neg’ girls so their self worth is crushingly low, we’re crucified.
Girly/gossip mags are no different — it’s insidious, snide, indirect cowardly frenemy negging, and it’s what girls are raised on from the moment they socialise in school.
I’m also concerned for the resentfulness expressed against taking responsibility for your life/choices/decisions? Many incredible Women have sacrificed and died to bring you these freedoms? The alternative is something like feudal Europe or Islam, where you’re ruled ruthlessly? Surely you can’t want that? Women are killed, stoned, viewed as lower than dogs and those societies *actually are* real Patriarchies? I don’t think it’s fair to criticise the 1st world for giving you freedom of choice? The question marks there really are legitimate; I can’t bring myself to believe that’s what you mean.
And then, to address your points about drug use and young women — People do care — but what can we do? I’ve got younger female cousins; my mates have younger sisters; we’re at our wits end about what to do. We can’t reach them. They won’t listen to us. We’ve been there, we’ve done our drug years, our bodies & minds have paid for it, but bring the topic up with these girls and we are told in no uncertain terms to “fuck off!!!!!”.
What, honestly, can we do?!? Our only option is watch the train wreck unfold. These girls waste their bodies, fry their minds, and fall for guys who are treacherous, greasy, weasel scum. Once dozens of party-boy weasel scum have run through them, they’ve had a kid or a few abortions, we’re left with the heart-wrenching task of trying to pick up the pieces. And our daughters! My mates with young daughters are beside themselves in distress when they see their 6yr old daughters gyrating and dancing sexually like pop ‘soft-porn’ starlets from MTV. 6 yrs old and they’re dancing like strippers! Honestly, what the F#$%?
If you’re able, spare a thought for all the fathers, brothers, cousins and other genuine guys who watch you girls destroy yourselves. Forgive us for checking out emotionally, but, given watching helplessly as you girls destroy yourself is so damn painful, how else can we cope? I don’t know what the solution is, but it’s not blaming us, nor is it asking for someone to remove your free will choice.