The 20 Stages of Going Out for Halloween

1. Steadfast refusal to make plans to go out
2. Consider a witty costume idea
3. Abandon costume idea after considering the long time-frame it would require to construct
4. ‎Relish previous decision to stay in
5. ‎Listen to Everyday Is Halloween and lament people’s terrible taste in current costume trends
6. ‎Laugh at someone’s joke about a bad Joker costume
7. Secretly wish Joker costume was actually cool
8. ‎Continue to enjoy the idea of not going out for Halloween
9. ‎Come up with really easy costume idea but panic that it might not actually be a good one
10. Remember the other holidays are starting up in less than a month, force mental focus on everything in the present to hide from feelings of the future
11. ‎Tentatively accept a casual invitation to your first Halloween party
12. ‎Immediately flinch in despair
13. ‎Imagine yourself flaking on the event and how much more enjoyable it would be to stay at home in bed
14. ‎Realize you haven’t gone out for Halloween in almost a decade
15. ‎Try to remember last successful costume
16. ‎Convince yourself it wasn’t as problematic as you remember
17. ‎Buy candy corn to barter with your unwillingness to enjoy the season
18. ‎Deny participating up until the last minute
19. ‎Buy everything a hour before the first party
20. ‎Get nearly blackout drunk to the Monster Mash at a metal bar costume party asking all the guys dressed as the Joker if they’re Heath Ledger’s Joker or Jared Leto’s

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