Journey to self love

“Be yourself, because an original is worth more than a copy ~Unknown~

I look ugly” I said looking at myself in the mirror with a disappointed look. I was getting ready for a tea party at a book club I was a part of for school, we had to make our own tea hats and get clothes to match.

My clothes were too big and the hat was too small, it kept falling every time I moved my head. I felt very uncomfortable.

I went over to my closet and started digging to see if I could find something, anything, to wear that I would feel comfortable in.

There was nothing and I was supposed to be in the car driving 10 minutes ago. In my frustration I began to cry and told my mom, who was there encouraging me and telling me that I looked beautiful, that I wasn’t going.

I sat on my bed and put my covers over my head, thinking that would get me out of the boring uncomfortable evening.

That wasn’t the case, “you have to go” my mom said as she pulled the covers off of me, “I’m sorry you don’t feel attractive” but that’s not going to stop you from going!”

As we drove to the event, I thought of how dumb I would look and how all the other girls would look so much prettier than me.

When I got there, I was right. I felt very uncomfortable and I was the odd one out of everyone!

I was wearing a straw hat, with orange flowers and a long hunter green skirt with orange flowers on them and a cream colored blouse that was too big.

All the other girls were wearing dainty pinks and purples with pretty little hats with babies breath in them.

The only thing that I remember from that little tea, was that I was very uncomfortable and didn’t fit in with the other girls.

That was when I was four-teen. I am now twenty-five and I wish that I could say that I haven’t had those kind of thoughts again. But, I have.

Being comfortable and confident in myself has always been something very lacking in my life.

I can think back to times of being in tears looking at myself in the mirror and hating the reflection that I saw looking back at me.

I’m not pretty enough. My hair isn’t shiny enough, my teeth aren’t straight or white enough, my mouth is too small, my skin has acne and scars, I’m too big.

Everything that I could point out was wrong with me or my face I would.

I’d compare myself not only to stars on TV or celebrities in magazines but to girls that I knew as well.

I was never good enough.

As I got older, I would constantly seek confirmation from others and I would be devastated if I didn’t feel like I got that.

It was a constant battle. One that I kept private and one that I would take out on others too.

I didn’t realize that I was keeping myself from getting to the place I needed to love myself.

I’d like to share some of the things that I use even to this day, that helps me, love, me.

There are good days and bad days. But, the more I am confident with me, the easier it gets.

Find your true self

Find the style that fits you the best and that you feel most comfortable and beautiful in. You’re not going to feel confident if you’re wearing something that isn’t you. This one can be hard. There are a lot of different styles out there and a lot of different trends. Not every trend is going to look good on everyone. It’s okay to skip trends if you don’t feel like it’s true to you.

Change the way you talk to yourself

This is the hardest for me. It’s a very true saying that “we are our biggest critics” It’s okay to give yourself a break! We aren’t going to be perfect all the time and that’s okay.

Don’t compare yourself

I hate the saying “there will always be someone more attractive than you” I really chose not to believe that. That opens up a can of worms!

I will constantly look at others that I think to be “more attractive” and allow myself to believe that they are. Believe that I’m not good enough and why should I even try, if there will always be someone more attractive.

There is only one me. I am unique and beautiful just as much as another person. Comparing is the most damaging thing to do to your journey in self love.

You are you. There isn’t going to be another. You are beautiful if you believe you are. You don’t need others to tell you, you are.

Does anyone else struggle with self love? What do you do to feel more confident in who you are?