How to eat Ramen and enjoy it
Mini-Bowl Spooning Technique
Until I saw her eating a bowl of Ramen noodles at Ippudo, I ate noodles like the rest of the fools. She was one of those Japanese women you run into now and again who just does things quietly and all chanto (proper) not necessarily because they’re so perfect at it, but because they are innately aware that they’re on public display. I wasn’t staring, I was sitting next to her, and she was making such cool neat work of it that I had to note her technique, and it’s a technique that has made mine, and will make your, eating of Ramen considerably more enjoyable in all respects.
The problem with Ramen has nothing whatsoever to do with its flavor, soup base, add-ins (Jeez where do they get that crispy sweet corn from!?), texture of the noodles, or even the price. The problem with having Ramen is that the bowl of soup is down on the table, hot steaming and filled with broth, simmering stuff, and those delightful noodles. It has to be on the table, and you have to be sitting up at the table, at least if you’re in a restaurant, and certainly if you’re with a date but even with just pals. You cannot simply bend over the bowl, grab it with a hand and tip it and slurp. You can do that at home, with a TV tray works great, you can even be half naked (I do not recommend slurping ramen without a shirt on, ya know, shorts too, for that matter.) But you can’t do that in polite company, even if you preface it with “this is how they do it in the Orient.” Exotic or not, it looks like what it is, trough feeding.
But if you don’t eat trough style, you’re missing the heavenly delight of a mouthful of perfect noodles soaked in a delicious, rich broth full of the fifth flavor, umami, and decorated with the ‘stuff’ (the corn, veggies, scallion, pork, chicken, fishcake, egg, pepper, et al.) When you get that perfect mouthful, you get what makes the Ramen craze the best comfort food craze ever. Unlike a celebrity chef’s version of your Mom’s really great meatloaf where you walk out satisfied, but still subconsciously yearning for the warm comfy feeling of Mommy, when you get a full blast of broth and noodles at Ippudo, or Ivan’s, you forget all about your student day’s cup of noodles and get down to the present. But you have to get the full blast of texture and flavor or you won’t be comforted into recalling the feeling of being young and hopeful, naïve but unselfconscious, and so refreshingly smug! Instead, you’re going to walk out of there, shirt lightly bespeckled, date still hungry, and an aftertaste that you’ll associate with student loans.
The solution to this is to eat Ramen the right way. The key to this is to have a very large soup spoon. Not an American style shallow spoon, but the Chinese restaurant kind with high sides and a nice flat bottom. These spoons were made to transport broth and stuff, to be a holding pen for wontons as they cooled off a little. Very sophisticated ancient Chinese secret. But NOT those spoons, they’re too small for ramen, Ramen is a slurping dish, you want a mouthful of those noodles, not a nibble. The secret of Ramen is to use a Chinese soup spoon about twice the normal size. Souper-sized, you could say or Bubble spoon if you like.
And here’s the technique. Chopsticks in dominant hand, spoon in other. Scoop up a half ladle of broth. This is all done hovering over the bowl and with your chopsticks pick up some bite-sized bits of ‘stuff’ and place in spoon. Now pickup a clump of noodles and lift out of the broth. You want probably about 3–4 long strands, and you lift them up high enough to clear the broth in the bowl and lower the clump neatly into the spoon. Keep your sticks right there at the spoon, on hand to gently assist the noodles into your mouth as you bring the spoon up and quietly smoothly slurp in a perfect mouthful of noodles, stuff and broth. Put down spoon and chopsticks, dab your lips suavely with napkin, chew, enjoy, moan, roll eyes, swallow, make conversation, repeat. Fucking Ay, that’s how you eat Ramen.
