Life Is Not Like Instagram: But, I’m terrified!
The difficulty of quashing a fear of the unknown and how to stop being scared of having an awesome life.
You’re scared. Of course you are. The realisation that an innate feature of your life isn’t serving you well introduces both darkness and light. Fear is palpable, leaving the world you know so well behind and daring to turn that dream you’ve always had into reality — what if everything you always felt you wanted turns out to be everything but that?
Work. Location. How spare time is spent or wasted. The misery of the commute. Debt and the seeming impossibility of owning a place one day. Comparison to those around you. That relationship that was once so beautiful and now, well, you know you can do better (even by yourself). The pressure of stigma and people saying ‘you can’t’. The alligators in the river you want to paddle. Getting ill in a foreign land. Running out of money before you’ve found a way to earn more. Getting run over on your bike. Crashing. Drowning. Lying in a hammock and working. Maybe not that one. Oh, life is so hard.
All of these are triggers to self worth and they’re more prominent the less secure you feel. Embarking on a new journey should be riddled with wobbles and doubts and fear, don’t think these are signs to stop your new ideas, they’re the opposite: verification that you’re doing the right thing.
And remember, fear is always magnified at a distance. When you actually face it down it’s nothing more than a hurdle to jump on the journey you’ve chosen.
In the face of my first journey down a river I remember standing on the banks beside my kayak terrified at the rate of flow, but the moment I got out on the water every fear I had washed away. The river always rushes faster when you’re standing still, but as soon as you move as one it’s the land that begins to whizz by. And you already know the land, so it’s all ok. After a while, I grew to know the river just as well, I’ve paddled thousands of miles since then and feel quite at home on the beast that once terrified me.
If you’re feeling totally confident about playing a game-changing move then stop playing it safe, you’re not going to get anything out of this other than some pretty pictures.
And what about when you’ve taken that leap and your brave new world has turned out to be pretty great, but you’re facing the reality that maybe one day you have to go home to all that you once escaped from?
Be purposeful. Stop being a traveller. Don’t be a tourist. Any idiot can pack a bag and book an air ticket — the joy in this is making it sustainable for the long-term. Take yourself lightly and your work seriously and realise that if you don’t work your butt off the dream ends. It’s ok to have doubts but you’ve done the hard bit now, you’re here, you broke down the front door. Stop feeling like you have to go back and mend it — you don’t.
Get creative. Create an ideas bank and add to it everyday. Take ten minutes and write cool things down. Stupid, ambitious, genius, exciting, weird. Every great little thought you have, write it down and store it away — at some point you’ll read something or meet a stranger or have that conversation which pulls open the right drawer and pop! Out comes the idea and you start creating something new.
Be curious. See the brightness even in the greyest places. Look up if you’re in the city. Talk to the people you have issues with. If you’re angry take a breath and maintain the upper hand. Don’t ever react negatively, you’re better than that. Be calm. The world doesn’t end if this relationship does. Or if you leave work. Or even if you get sick. It begins…
The only definition of success is yours. Don’t let other people suggest that you’re not aiming in the right direction however much you feel you need guidance in this unfamiliar state of mind.
Live out the story you want to tell people and work towards making a world for yourself that you wouldn’t swap for anyone else’s. This is the rule that makes leaping into the unknown awesome — are you scared of being amazing? Stop it, you’re being naughty.
Oh, and ‘I’m at work’ should never be an apology. Neither should ‘I’m scared’. The pressure of finding passion, purpose and goals should come second to letting go of the things that hold you back, otherwise you’re just bouncing up and down on the foundation of glass you once thought was worth building.
Read the introduction to my Life Is Not Like Instagram Series, which includes a link to all articles published on this topic
Share my journey on Facebook, YouTube, Twitter and Instagram (which sometimes even shows the bad stuff)
And for all the struggles of living life on the move, it has its rewards too. Here’s my story in six minutes. Make life memorable, say yes more :)
