What Your Wedding Band Says About Your Personality (Men)

And your favorite beer.

This article is a fun little exposé on what your wedding band says about your personality. For clarification, I will be analysing wedding bands not engagement rings. There are countless articles on what your engagement ring says about your style, ladies. I wanted to write one for the guys, for which I could not find a single article on the Internet. So here it is.

In doing research for this article, I found it amazing how many designs and make-ups are out there as far as wedding bands. This article could be great-wall-of-china-long if I examined every potential facet and character of wedding bands. However, for the sake of brevity and fun, I will be covering just the broad classifications of male wedding bands.

Classic Gold —

You’re an independent, traditionalist with high values. You struggle with pride but you have a good relationship with at least one of your parents. The thicker your gold band is the greater your pride is. You and your spouse think differently but you actually value this. Sometimes. You are stubborn and have lots of good ideas, which is why you are stubborn. Because they are actually good ideas. People get behind your ideas and you are a strong leader. You have an appreciation for perfecting a skill or area of expertise. You like to be the best or most knowledgeable in the group but you respect a challenger. Often the white-gold-ringed guy and you end up being best friends.

Beer: Oktoberfest

Black —

You go against the masses, following none but the other emblems of counter-cultural thinking. Much like yourself. You and your parents clash. Every month. You are unique and have strong opinions, whether you verbalize them or not depends on the design of your ring. The more ornate and decorated your black ring is, such as a single embedded stone or a textured pattern, the more vocal you are about your strong opinions. You are anti-crowd pleasing and yet people are drawn to you because of that. You also have some interesting quirks that are humorous only if you let them be. They are little social gems when you reveal them, by accident or intentionally. You wear unmarked clothing.

Beer: The local Stout or Porter

White Gold —

You care. About many things. You often have side hobbies that take up more time than maybe they should. Your wife is the apple of your eye and your children are the joy centers of your life. You are tuned into what is trending in the news and web. You have lunch at your parents every other week. You are not poor. You enjoy control, whether you use that control passively or aggressively is up to you, white-gold man. You step up when the situation calls for it, often when no one else will. You save your loud voice for this. Technical malfunctions bug you to death. While you might not play them as proficiently or often as you wish, you watch sports a lot, and always with a beer. You’re good friends with a titanium-ringed guy and black-ringed boys are interesting to you.

Beer: Guinness

Titanium —

You like the outdoors, hiking and adventure. You are proficient in a handful of sports and have the ability to think very deeply about something. Your mind can be like a laser, researching and delving deep into a subject that interests you. You do not have a passion for the “norm” and you hate sitting around. You are a doer more than a talker and you are interested in learning new things with other people around you. You have a tendency to get hurt and/or in trouble because you love to live life on the wild side. Your wife loves this about you just as much as she hates it about you.

Beer: Newcastle

Tungsten Carbide —

You are the chillest dude on the planet. It takes a ton to get under your skin. You are a rock in your marriage and provide humor and stability when your wife gets all bent out of shape. You don’t care much about financial prosperity and value wholesome fun. Though maybe you shouldn’t play video games so much. You are a saver and a thought-out spender. You’ve skated before in your lifetime and you say “bro” a lot. You aren’t afraid to try new things and you surprise people with your athleticism. People are drawn to your dry humor. You get along well with a titanium-ringed guy and black-ringed guys are annoying.

Beer: Craft Beer from Asheville, NC

Hammered Rings

You love the beach and probably know how to uncap a beer bottle with your ring. You are lazy but smart if you try. You live in the basement of your parents’ house. With your wife. You have long hair and a lot of hats. You’ve been through lot. More than you feel comfortable talking about with people. Maybe that’s why you don’t feel like talking much. You probably have a tattoo or two and have very strong beliefs. Your favorite colors are black, grey, and blue. Try taking up a physical activity with a lot of concentration and steep-learning curve. You’ll find you will stick with it longer

Beer: High-Gravities

Multi-Colored Rings

You like attention. You learned your attention-grabbing social habits from your parents, whether you wish to admit that or not. You dress nicely, borderline hipster sometimes. You have an appreciation for aesthetics and a repulsion to sweat. When you do sweat, it’s probably from playing tennis, biking or hot yoga. You tell carbs, not tonight, and eat lots of vegetables. Netflix is manna sent from heaven to you. If you were a social media platform you would be Twitter. You have the gift of gab and the curse of awkwardness-sensitivity. If it gets awkward, you start to look for the door. Your favorite store in the mall is Express Men or Gap.

Beer: Blue Moon

Stainless Steel Rings

The amazing thing is the fact that this ring is actually on your finger. You normally lose it. Sometimes, you wonder why you even where it in the first place. I mean, you’re married, right, what’s a ring have to do with it? You are poor. You have single-ply toilet paper and revel in saving money. Going out to eat is relegated to once a month, twice if it is a birthday or anniversary. You really enjoy your jeans. The same pair you wore in high school. Your wife is super down-to-earth. You both don’t have to be in your bed to fall asleep, unlike the white-gold-ringed guy. You enjoy cars and bikes, and you are handy around the house.

Beer: Miller Light

Thanks for reading. I would love your comments!