Bob vs Borealis the Fantastic (or something like that)

“It is I, Crimson Lord of the Thirteen Moons, One of the Great Four Celestial, Borelius of the Phantasm!” His armour entwines him in a series of interlocking large bone-like structure giving it an almost organic quality. His red cape flows powerfully against the storm winds as he points his giant blade at his opponent.

“Hi, I’m Bob,” His opponent says without much enthusiasm.

“What?!” His well-trained boom cracks in surprise.

“Bob. Didn’t you catch that? It’s really easy. B-O-B.” Bob smacks his shoulder but fails to kill a mosquito.

“No, no. Of course I know what Bob is. But what about your nicknames? Your titles? There are so many Bobs in the world. You need to give me something to work with. I can’t go back from the battlefield and tell my boss I killed Bob.”

“Oh, my bad. It’s Bob Chan,” says Bob Chan. He smacks both hands together in a power clap but the mosquito evades just as easily.

“Is that really your best? You need to give me some hype man. Like I’m the Crimson Lord of Thirteen Moons, don’t you have something like that?” Borelius speaks with a tinge of desperation.

“Nope,” says Bob Chan. “I find it too long. I can’t remember your full title. I’ll probably just head back and tell my boss I killed Borealis the Fantastic.”

“IT’S BORELIUS OF THE PHANTASM!” boomed the armoured menace.

“My point exactly. It’s so hard to remember. Don’t you have a real name?”

“Borelius of the Phantasm IS my real name!”

Bob looks on, unconvinced and unimpressed.

Borelius begins to feel uneasy, holding his elbow with one hand in a self-embrace. “It’s Bernard.” He mumbles.

“See, why couldn’t you just start with that? It’s so much easier.”

“But it’s not…cool.” Bernard says, dejected.

Bob Chan let’s out a sigh. “Ok fine, let’s meet in the middle. How bout just one nickname.” Bob chops the air and hits the mosquito mid flight. “Like I could be Bob the er…Fly Chopper. Now you go.”

Bernard brightens up once more and his booming voice is back, “Then, you shall know me as Bernard the Crimson Phantasm!”

Their swords clash and the rumble finally begins.


“How did it go,” says Bob’s Boss.

“It was fine, lots of bugs though. Remind me to bring some repellant next time,” says Bob the Fly Chopper.

“No, not that. The enemy, who did you vanquish?”

“Hmm…some guy.” Bob the Fly Chopper paused to recall and his eyes sparked with recognition, “Borealis the Fantastic, I think.”


Stories at 90km/h (sometimes 0km/h)

is a series where I free-write on my train rides.

Expect half-finished things on most days and very finished things on days when the train breaks down.