David Penn
Aug 8, 2017 · 2 min read

SCENE #3 PARENT-TEACHER PROMPT

INT. SCHOOL OFFICE

“Principal Mary Willis” is stenciled on a bubbleglass door. It opens and PRINCIPAL WILLIS motions RIC and SUE SANDS into enter her office.

Willis sits behind her desk. Ric and Sue, mid-30’s, take chairs opposite, curious why they’re here, and nervous.

WILLIS: Thank you for coming. Your daughter Lisa brought some (air quotes) “balloons” to school today.

Ric and Sue frown, shrug, balloons are a problem?

Willis notes their confusion, reaches into her drawer and lays five condoms on her desk, still wrapped.

RIC: Those aren’t balloons.

WILLIS: I know those aren’t balloons.

SUE: These aren’t- we don’t- we haven’t used condoms in years, eight, since Lisa was born, I had my tubes tied.

Willis nods, casts a suspicious gaze at Ric, who stares at the condoms like a deer in headlights. Sue picks up on this and glares at Ric as he senses the predicament he’s in.

RIC: Honey, no, look (grabs a condom) these are snug fit, small, I don’t-

He looks at Willis.

RIC: — I don’t mean to brag but small, no way.

His forced laughter is met with stony silence from both women. Sue goes from stunned to the verge of tears.

SUE: Is there something you need to tell me.

RIC: No, what? Honey, this is crazy.

Sue flashes angry, and Willis reaches across to take her hand, supportive.

SUE: Twice a week playing handball with Bert? Do I need to call him?

RIC: No, don’t call Bert. Why would you call my boss? You think?… actually yes, absolutely, call Bert. In fact…

He whips out his phone.

WILLIS: Hold on now, before you get your boss involved, is there any other possible explanation? Babysitter?

SUE: No, Billy watches Lisa when we go out.

WILLIS: (ah-) How old is Billy?

SUE: He’s only fifteen.

WILLIS: (-ha!) Does only-fifteen-Billy have a girlfriend?

RIC: Sure, Linda, but she’s a straight A student. We know her parents. Linda wouldn’t… she’s not -

Can’t go on, can’t wrap his head around it.

WILLIS: — that kind of girl? Uh huh. Is Billy that kind of boy?

Ric at a loss, turns to Sue, who’s facing down tough alternatives here.

SUE: You better hope they are.

Willis stacks the condoms and hands them -

WILLIS: (- to Sue) Good luck.

    David Penn

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