SCENE #3 PARENT-TEACHER PROMPT
INT. SCHOOL OFFICE
“Principal Mary Willis” is stenciled on a bubbleglass door. It opens and PRINCIPAL WILLIS motions RIC and SUE SANDS into enter her office.
Willis sits behind her desk. Ric and Sue, mid-30’s, take chairs opposite, curious why they’re here, and nervous.
WILLIS: Thank you for coming. Your daughter Lisa brought some (air quotes) “balloons” to school today.
Ric and Sue frown, shrug, balloons are a problem?
Willis notes their confusion, reaches into her drawer and lays five condoms on her desk, still wrapped.
RIC: Those aren’t balloons.
WILLIS: I know those aren’t balloons.
SUE: These aren’t- we don’t- we haven’t used condoms in years, eight, since Lisa was born, I had my tubes tied.
Willis nods, casts a suspicious gaze at Ric, who stares at the condoms like a deer in headlights. Sue picks up on this and glares at Ric as he senses the predicament he’s in.
RIC: Honey, no, look (grabs a condom) these are snug fit, small, I don’t-
He looks at Willis.
RIC: — I don’t mean to brag but small, no way.
His forced laughter is met with stony silence from both women. Sue goes from stunned to the verge of tears.
SUE: Is there something you need to tell me.
RIC: No, what? Honey, this is crazy.
Sue flashes angry, and Willis reaches across to take her hand, supportive.
SUE: Twice a week playing handball with Bert? Do I need to call him?
RIC: No, don’t call Bert. Why would you call my boss? You think?… actually yes, absolutely, call Bert. In fact…
He whips out his phone.
WILLIS: Hold on now, before you get your boss involved, is there any other possible explanation? Babysitter?
SUE: No, Billy watches Lisa when we go out.
WILLIS: (ah-) How old is Billy?
SUE: He’s only fifteen.
WILLIS: (-ha!) Does only-fifteen-Billy have a girlfriend?
RIC: Sure, Linda, but she’s a straight A student. We know her parents. Linda wouldn’t… she’s not -
Can’t go on, can’t wrap his head around it.
WILLIS: — that kind of girl? Uh huh. Is Billy that kind of boy?
Ric at a loss, turns to Sue, who’s facing down tough alternatives here.
SUE: You better hope they are.
Willis stacks the condoms and hands them -
WILLIS: (- to Sue) Good luck.
