Things haven’t always been this way. I wonder when and why it all started.

A series of events, I suppose, an incident of rejection, hate, jealousy perhaps. It doesn’t matter now. It’s been a slow long drawn out process.

A process that repeats itself, like a wave crashing on the…

The Patient Experience #3: A Difficult Diagnosis

When I was 23, I had my bloodwork done because people around me, gay men, young, handsome, bright men, were dying and the only indicator of why people were dying at the time was found in the blood.

I went to the Doctor…

I was stargazing tonight

and noticed that Orion was in the same spot

as he was when I moved two years ago.

I’d like to say that I’ve gone full circle

but it sometimes feels like

I am just spinning around in circles

again and again.

From May 20, 2011

Remember the things in life that are important to you and ignore the distractions that separate me from them. There are things, places, spaces, times where I find my happiness, my connections to others, to my healthy and loving self. …

pRESS sTAR (Life before the # key)

You used to call me on the telephone

that thing they call the landline now

we used to lie back and talk for hours

lying on the ground with our legs up against the wall

and looking at the ceiling as if it had stars

and we would get together when we wanted

instead of when we can.

Then you got a cell phone and you hardly ever call

and I hear more about you via text now then from your emails

and it feels I hardly ever see you anymore

it seems like we’re finding ways of creating distance

and making it easy to grow apart.

There is a part of me

that is afraid that I will be

that kind of person

that falls off the radar

and people will look back

and for a moment they will regret

that they could have done more

to help me get better.

Ode To A Hermit Thrush

Some say it’s just luck, I think it’s awareness that holds the key.

Earlier today, something caught my eye quite by chance.

I caught a glimpse of a hermit thrush

perched nearby on the sycamore branch.

Later I would see him upon the window ledge.

Feeling present and being relaxed is more than happenstance.

We exchanged nods knowingly

and I could see the world in his eyes during the glance..

Peace of mind and peace in this world

can happen when man versus the environment becomes a dance.

http://apatientvoice.com/2015/10/14/ode-to-a-hermit-thrush/

Here I am on my 51st, birthday and at times it has felt like a long hard journey and at other times it’s been one hell of a pit stop.

As I reflect, as I stand still and as I look ahead I know that I have the wisdom of…