Fuck Marry Kill: Hilary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, Donald Trump

I really want to write about my depression and how much I hate myself some(most)times, but I still don’t know how to do that in a succinct and not-desperate way so instead I’ll be talking about this national crisis on our hands right here.

Fuck

Donald Trump for sure. Mostly out of curiosity. We have to know if it’s actually YUGE or not. So this one was pretty easy.

Marry

If you don’t say Bernie Sanders then you don’t know what you’re missing. For one, the man will treat you right no matter who you are. You get great benefits with the guy and all he’s going to ask from you in return is you go volunteer every now and then and help others. If anything, he’ll make you a better person in the end. Also he’s friends with Killer Mike, Ben from Ben & Jerry’s (free ice cream for life), and Sarah Silverman.

And I know what you might be saying, but Donald Trump just sucks. Whenever he says something incredibly stupid, they will be asking you for answers to why he would say such things. But there’s only so much you can bullshit before you realize the lavish Trump lifestyle wouldn’t be worth it.

Kill

It’s not because I don’t like her, she just doesn’t fit anywhere else. I’m not going to marry her (that would be like marrying Frank Underwood), and I’m not going to sleep with her (again, Frank Underwood), so she just kinda fits in here.