A Break in the Waves. Pt 2
In Guantanamo Bay, detainees were subjected to a range of techniques as part of efforts to extract information from them. These methods included waterboarding, where a wet cloth was placed over the face and water was poured over the nose and mouth to simulate drowning; withholding food and water; and inflicting physical pain. In addition, guards would prevent inmates from sleep. Among all the methods used, sleep deprivation proved to be the most effective in breaking detainees’ resistance, with many confessing to any accusations made against them. The desperate need for sleep can lead to a highly distressed and emotional state in which people will say or do anything to make it stop. In Manchester, similar forms of torture were being used in a terraced house; but the line between tormenter and tormented was blurred. It began with isolation.
For the past nine months, she had been living a solitary life, with her days filled by the routine of school drop-offs and dictated by the needs of her children when they were at home. “Quite the little housewife,” her friends would joke when she gave another excuse for not being able to meet up. She didn’t mind the cliché. Her dad, like her nana before him, had always lived by the motto “family comes first,” and it was a code she had proudly followed. When the house was empty, the mundane tasks she performed required little mental effort, and as her mind wandered, it became more creative. As she ironed, she would daydream about trips abroad; as she tidied the kids’ room, she would imagine long walks along the canal; and as she cooked the kids’ dinner, she would envision running a bistro in the Northern Quarter. The more time passed, the more time she spent innocently dreaming. One afternoon, with some time to spare before picking up the kids, she listened to a podcast that had been shared in a WhatsApp group. It featured an American presenter giving life lessons.
“Gratitude can turn the most common days into a celebration, make even routine tasks joyful, and turn ordinary opportunities into blessings. It’s not happiness that produces gratitude, but gratitude that produces happiness. Now, if they don’t show you gratitude…”
A doubt slowly began to creep in. Was she appreciated for all the things she did for others? Did anyone she cooked, cleaned, and washed for show gratitude? What about the restaurant meals she arranged, the holidays she booked, the travel plans she made, the family gatherings she organized, or the endless driving she did for others? As she went through her mental list of all the ways she had dedicated herself to others, she struggled to find even a single “thank you.” She thought back to the words of the presenter: “If they don’t show you gratitude, are you happy?” And with that question, she began to wonder if she was..
“Pick up girls from school”
The 3pm alarm signaling the time to pick up the kids brought her back to reality, and she forgot about the podcast amid the chaos of collecting, feeding, bathing, and putting them to bed. As the night settled in and her mind began to wander again, the pictures it painted were a little less colorful and playful.
Before, she had been content to get lost in her own thoughts, but now she couldn’t escape the negative ones that kept appearing.
Over next few days a suspicion snuck in. It started with interpreting social media posts, the use of elipses on tweet had her creating further context. What did they mean? Did she do something wrong? She analysed flipant Facebook posts not even directed towards her for further meaning. Were they having a subliminal jibes at her? With nothing but time on her hands she would write inner monologues confronting them. These actions were extended to family members in a way that was not supported by any evidence. Were they off with me on the phone? Her Friend’s tone sounded a little different than usual, what had she done to cause that? She would create fictional scenarios, projecting the fantastical stories onto real people. In further communication she would find little hints in their actions to confirm her thoughts as fact. As the behaviour continued to escalate, even those who had never been questioned as trustworthy and loving were seen as enemies.
Her perception of reality became more and more distorted. A mistrust began to set in.
More to follow.
Copyright © David Scott 2023. All text and image rights reserved.
