Man, I was born in the wrong decade

Do you ever feel like you should have been born in another era? Call me an old soul, call me nostalgic, call me a free spirit, whatever. But I’ve always felt like I wasn’t meant for these times. Whether it be the summer of love or the roaring twenties, I would do anything to go back to a time when America really felt alive and when I wasn’t facing a felony DWI charge.

I’ve always felt a bit out of touch with my own generation. Growing up, my parents raised me on the good stuff: the Stones, Zeppelin, the Who, Dylan, etc. — it just doesn’t get any better than that. Compare that to the commercial Justin-Bieber-Katy-Perry-dubstep-bleep-bloop “music” (if you can even call it that!!!) that gets shoved down our throats now, and there’s no contest! Music was simply better back in the day — nowadays it’s all just commercial bubblegum crap. Yessir, if I could have it my way, I’d be back at Haight & Ashbury in the summer of ’67 when it was all happening instead of at the intersection of Clark and Genesee two weeks ago, when I admittedly tried to avoid a DWI checkpoint and subsequently rolled my Jeep Wrangler into a ditch.

A hundred years from now when people look back on 2016, what will we be remembered for? Tinder and Netflix and selfies? No thanks pal! In the past, young people actually took action and stood for something. These days, there’s so much apathy, and as somebody who might not be eligible to vote in the near future, I’m ashamed to be a part of this generation. I wish I could go back to a time when life was groovier, when people actually cared about things, and when I wasn’t facing almost certain legal and financial ruin due to a string of multiple prior convictions. Hoo baby, that would be awesome.

Also, is it just me, or does anyone else feel like the world is just plain scary nowadays? When our parents were kids, they used to be able to roam around the neighborhood, get dirty, and just be kids. No terrorism, no school shootings, no global warming. It used to be that you could graduate college and find a job. Today in 2016, the economy is in the toilet, and between the crooks on wall street, a failed sobriety test with blood alcohol content four times above the legal limit, and a broken political system, who wouldn’t want to go back and live in, say, the jazz era, or the golden age of cinema? Brother, I know I would.

And don’t try to tell me that technology has moved our society forward! Hell, for my money, the quality of everything nowadays is much worse. I’d much rather live in a time when America was producing vintage telecasters and classic muscle cars. I’d take those innovations over today’s boring world of cheap overseas manufacturing, cancelled insurance policies, revoked driver’s licenses, exorbitant fines, and guaranteed minimum jail time any day of the week.

So here’s to all my fellow old souls out there. To those who wish they could push a button and be back in the good ol’ days. To those who care more about Elvis Presley and James Dean than “apps,” “selfie sticks,” and “aggravating circumstances due to the presence of an open container.” If you happen to come across a time machine anytime soon let me know, because I know I’d go back in a heartbeat!

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