How to know if the guy you are dating is spiritually mature

Godliness is sexy to Godly people.

So it is right that you are seeking to know if the guy you are dating is spiritually mature. Before I give you 6 ways to determine if he is maturing in his faith let me tell you 2 things.

1) Never marry a spiritual fixer-upper. Doing so will ensure a life of mediocrity. My daughter is 15 and we talk about her future husband. I tell her to start with the two J’s. Jesus and a Job. The depth chart will include much more but without those two things the deal is done.

2) The secret for how to not marry a non-Christian or a spiritual loser is to never date one. 100% of the time we marry the people you date. So you definitely want to date spiritually matur(ing) people.

Here’s my list of 6 ways to determine if a guy is spiritually mature and a good potential husband.

First…you must be spiritually mature. It takes one to know one is true. If you are a mature Christian you will more likely to recognize it.

Second…if they are spiritually mature they will do things that spiritually mature people do. They will weekly attend and engage in worship (they aren’t spectators in worship). They pray. They read their bible. They willingly put themselves under biblical authority. They tithe to their church. And so on. These aren’t thing that they do occasionally. They are the defining markers of their life.

Third…their prayer life is an indicator. A) They pray. For you and with you. B) God answers their prayers. C) When you hear them pray it’s not awkward, clunky or religious. it sounds more like a child taking to their father than anything else.

Fourth…they are already leading you to be holy. Marriage is not meant to make you happy. It’s meant to make you holy. Holiness doesn't follow happiness. But happiness does follow holiness. This process begins in the dating relationship. If this isn’t happening it likely never will.

Fifth…he will be protecting your purity. He will not be leading you to bed or to live together. If your guy is doing this then dump him. Instead a spiritually mature man will be leading you to Jesus.

Sixth…he repents. He will and has repented to God when he sins. He will also repent to you when it’s needed. In marriage people do not fall out of love, they fall out of repentance. And the primary goal of parenting is to have repentant kids. If he isn’t repentant your marriage will struggle in these areas.

Give them grace. They wont be perfect at these things but they will be pursuing them.

Dave Thornhill

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