I’ve never wanted to be (physically) alone. I’m introvert and yet I want to be surrounded by people. I know. I am strange like that.
I believe it’s my greatest fear and I would never live in a country side. Because people live there are alone.
This brings me to not wanting to be buried on soil. I don’t want to be left there alone. I wish to be cremated not that I’m going to die soon. I’m just saying it out loud in case something happen to me, they’ll know what to do with my body.
Death still sounds mysterious to me, I do hope it won’t be that scary when my time comes.
Few weeks ago, a dear friend of mine decides to end her life. I really hope she died peacefully no matter what people say. When I saw her at the wake, she looks peaceful and beautiful. Since suicide is still a taboo in these days and age, nobody talks about it. Everyone is quiet about it.
For a while, she’s on mind. Why does it has to happen, she won’t be able to watch Game of Thrones anymore which we both enjoy watching.
Last night I met a friend who’s visiting Ireland. He’d suffered (still is) from depression, he explained to me that once it hit you, it’s very very very very very hard to get out. He said it’s literally hurting you - mentally and physically. It gives you extreme panic attacks, paranoia and anxiety.
Sufferers just want it to stop.
I realised how lucky I am for not suffering from it. Cause of my little sadness is nothing compare to what they’re feeling. And I must cherish each day that I’m feeling well.