The Day I Left.


Unknown I am, sitting on a park swing as I stare at the tree branch I couldn’t reach with my feet for the life of me.

A great day for taking in the northern breeze without knowing that my life at this moment is something I could skip through with ease.

Why is it that these days are where i find myself escaping to when I lose a grip on who I am?

This could stem from my confusion when it comes to understanding the difference between who I was, and who I’ve become.

The primary separation in these behavioral states is time. When I was ten, I didn’t know half of the things I know now. I also didn’t have as much to be stressed about.

I’m an offshoot of an initial blueprint, but who exactly was I?


FIRST


A dusty desk stares at me, begging for an initialing to confirm the contract that binds a social life to an educational system. A waver for emotional health would probably suffice or prepare me for the danger ahead of me.

I feel at peace, though I’m probably supposed to feel anxious, Being alone and left to my devices is where I’m drawing this energy from.

As my first friend uses his energy without hesitation to remind me how strange I am for doing things differently than many around me would prefer.

A tall fence shields me from a world I do not yet know.

Who’s power level is highest? I pretend I’m a super hero or powerful creature.

My uncle let me watch X-men VHS tapes and I just can’t stop imagine what it’d be like to have the power to escape.

First Grade.

Resolve never met me.


SECOND


One of the nice girls from Pre-K is in my class. She’s really cool, and she has her own pencil sharpener that’s made of a cheap green plastic.

A trumpet and a swan, A chocolate cupcake in one bite, Learning every lyric to “Under The Sea” from The Little Mermaid.

So much is happening, and I’m only seven.

My teacher is new to her job, she has problems pronouncing the word “Idea” for some reason unknown to me.

(It really is a simple word, I never understood the difficulty.)

My behavior begins to shift as I grow tired of repetition in learning.

My teacher notices these things and me as a whole behaving in such a way she was unfamiliar with.

Guidance councilors and detention are not strangers this year. My teacher believes my behavior is due to a disorder I’ve never heard of.

My first friend is in another class.

Green sharpener girl never notices how great I think she is.

Second Grade.

Best chocolate cupcake of my life.