I was never much of a drinker anyway but I’ve been completely teetotal for over 12 years. People who drink alcohol/take ‘recreational’ drugs to have fun, aren’t really having fun; they're just giving themselves an illusion of fun.
I’m sorry you had encounters with two incredible douchebags in such close succession!
Paul Jenkins

I Have to respond: I have been a self accepting recreational drug user for about half of my life now- and while I started far too young and could have perceivably damaged myself in capacities I am yet, unaware- I vehemently disagree that you are able to tell Anyone why they are doing it… ‘just to have fun’, ‘aren’t really having fun’,’just an illusion’.

I never understood why non drug users felt the need to try to qualify someone else’s life experience to suit their own tastes. It is inconsiderate and rude. I never liked drug users that claimed that the straight-edge never Really have fun, either. It’s closed minded exclusionary thinking.

I have been raped and sexually assaulted- never while inebriated. Most of the women who I’ve known that shared the experience where also sober- either coerced, forced, too afraid to struggle, afraid to say no too many times and would rather not be beaten And assaulted.

Your statement seemed a shallow attempt at empathizing while mansplaining what women Already know, that you May increase your chances of safety by remaining sober. Then again….

Ellie, I understand your mistrust for men. My mother was a victim of near constant sexual violence as an adopted child, in group homes, and as an adult- I was raised not to trust Anyone with power because there is always the possibility of abuse no matter the gender, class, location, etc.

I lost a ‘best friend’ of many years after he slept with a female best friend- Kitty (after I advised him not too- because she cared for him), while living with the mother of his third child (who was the best friend of his first two children’s mother). I had been uncomfortable with his gf for quite a long time because she thought him a cheater and suspected I was having an affair with him. I was not interested, not that he wasn’t constantly sliding ‘what if’s’ into our conversations.

He carried on an affair with my friend Kitty, though- and Her friend Kate simultaneously. While complaining Always about his paranoid gf. When Kitty found out, she told me and I immediately ended our 6 year ‘friendship’.

Having been assaulted and manipulated, his lie web weaving skills horrified me. The level to which he objectified my Kitty, her Kate And his live-in babies mother, while unemployed (after calling her an unreasonable paranoid for Years) absolutely Disgusted me.

Now- they are married and he has 4 children but I’m sure is still a shined up piece of shit. People like him are everywhere and I am sorry for all of us (women, children, and men) who are forced into unwitting, unwilling contact with this type of twisted, acquiring, calculating motherfuckers.

Sorry for for the convoluted tale- subject hopping, language, and any other way I may have offended