My first birthday totally out of the closet!
There are real good reasons to celebrate 32!
So many years ago, when I was a teenager, I used to feel so sad as soon as my birthday was getting closer. Althoug I had a lot of reasons to be happy (I had my family by my side, I was studying dentistry at the best university of my country, I was surrounded by people who really appreciate me) I couldn’t feel myself honestly happy. I remember one of those past birthdays, I decided to go to bed and turn off de light and cry alone because I was feeling so unhappy, the depressive wave took me and almost made me drawn into its darkness depth. My family was there, but it was probably feeling as impotent as I was about my issue: I really thought I was wrong because I was gay. I was a sinner, set far away from God’s mercy (that was what I used to hear every Sunday at church). How the hell was I supposed to feel myself happy about my birthday? Impossible!
Since I accepted myself as a gay man and, above all, left the shame of being me, no matter of labels given by society, my birthdays have changed a lot every year. When I got empowered of my decisions and decided not living a fake life, when I stoped trying to get fitted on people’s expectations, that day I started to feel, but the most important, to be happy.
This week I was celebrating my birthday once more, but this time it was so different: all the people around me, know my truth and accept it, although they don’t understand, that’s a real huge reason to celebrate!
My first big reason to be happy is to walk everywhere I go and maintain my forehead high, shameless, so proud, not because “I’m different”, but because I am a person who makes this society quite better with my job, no matter who I go to bed with.
My second giant reason: I am so in love with a guy who respects, supports, and obviously, loves me as much as I love him. He planned a surprise party with both mine and his family, he organized all the details carefully to gather the people I love the most. My family have had a real hard work in order to accept me, but love has made it possible. They have changed their minds radically: from trying to convince me to take psych therapy sessions or denying my couple to entry at home; now they accept, respect and appreciate the person I think is the best to live my life by my side.
Another, but not less important, reason: a phone call from my grandma (hundred miles away) full of best wishes and blessings, for me and for Sergio, my boyfriend. That really made my day. No explanations needed.
Maybe you are though a very difficult familiar situation trying to be accepted, I certainly know it’s not easy, but what I really know today is that first you need to accept yourself and go ahead, live your life and move taking the decisions you have to take, maybe sometimes you will get wrong, it doesn’t matter, you can change your mind and begin once more. The important matter is you really worth, but first you need to believe it!