Blog 003

Today was actually a really good day! It started out with me being suuuuper tired, because I stayed up too late. My mom, step-dad, and I went out to go on a short mountain bike journey.

Though confident at first, I realized as soon as we hit the first inclines that I was not prepared for this. I fought my way up, piece by piece, until I had to stop. My brain, my throat, my legs, my arms… everything was hurting. I needed a break. Of course neither my mom nor my step-dad would make me feel bad about it, but I just couldn’t help but hate myself in that moment. I felt like I didn’t accomplish shit, I tried super hard, and I knew that that’s somewhat of an accomplishment, but I wasn’t proud of it. So I pushed a little bit, and started talking with my parents, and all the sudden I was feeling alright. It may have happened because I took my mind off the pain, perhaps because I needed a warm-up, probably both, but I pedalled just fine, listening to their advice. Without wearing glasses, I rode downhill next to the other two, thinking finally it goes downhill. I went faster and faster, and my sight became blurrier and blurrier. I was about to freak out like, “I’m going a solid 100 mph down this rough path, AND I CAN’T SEE WHERE THE FUCK I’M GOING!!!! GOD PLEASE NOT TODAY, PLEASE I DON’T WANNA DIE LIKE THIS, GET ME OFF THIS BIKE”, but I remained calm as a sloth; no suddle movements, gently pull the breaks and glide down behind the others.

We came to a halt where the path branched off, we decided to go further uphill, the right decision. Once at the top, there was only downhill left, and this time I had my shades on! We start rolling down, still a little scared at first, but I could really feel myself getting used to these speeds. The wind flattering my shirt, the beautiful forest zooming by, complete focus on my actions, it all felt right. A big smile grew on my face, I screamed out “WOOOO”, I felt free. The way back home was bascially just that, we practically rolled into our driveway.

I chilled at home, paying attention to my no candy diet, had a nap, watched a show, and all that without feeling bad about myself. Man, I deserved that!

So later on, I went out with my mother to see the Karlsruhe castle lightshow, along with some Pokemon ;). Came home and had a nice cold beer. I heavily reduced the amount of beer in my life, but this one I enjoyed.