Delayed Gratification: Sacrificing now for a better future

Do you find yourself sometimes in situations where you can’t resist a temptation, even though you know you shouldn’t give in? We may say “Ah just this one time” and in this moment self-control leaves us and we give in. Becoming “better” at delaying gratification, also often referred to as deferred gratification, can help us resist giving in to temptations we don’t want.

Delayed Gratification explained

Before looking into the concept of Delayed Gratification, let’s look at its counterpart: Instant Gratification. This occurs when we choose an immediate reward. In contrast, Delayed Gratification involves delaying immediate rewards in favor of potentially larger ones in the future.

To delay our gratification requires self-control, willpower, and the ability to prioritize the probable “bigger” long-term reward over the “smaller” short-term one.

Later in this article, when we look at practical examples, we will see why in many cases instant gratification is inferior to delaying our gratification.

There is one famous experiment to show this concept, called the marshmallow experiment, done by psychologist Walter Mischel. (hier in der Grafik noch das Jahr angeben.)
In summary, children had the choice between one marshmallow now or two in 15 minutes. After that the children were tracked over the next 40 years to see how children with instant or delayed gratification are doing in life. Children who delayed gratification and took two marshmallows after 15 minutes tended to be academically more successful, have better grades, lower substance abuse, etc. … [0]

In a later chapter, we will see that this experiment got some justified criticism.
Still, I hope the core concept of delayed gratification is clear.

Let’s look at some words by Shane Parrish, who combines Delayed Gratification with the Model of Second-Order Thinking:

“People who arbitrage time will almost always outperform. The first order thought of instant gratification is a crowded path, ensuring mediocre results at best. Delayed gratification, which requires second order thinking, is less crowded and more likely to get results.”- Shane Parrish [1]

Time is a resource and we can make it work for us. What is required, is Second-Order Thinking, to think further than immediate gratification. About the topic of Second-Order Thinking, I made an article. Feel free to check it out.

Delayed Gratification examples

Let’s take a look at some practical examples, where we can see the benefits of delayed gratification.

A classical example is to save money instead of spending it now on consumption. By saving it we could “consume” in the future a bigger reward or just use it to be more financially safe.

Instead of Eating junk food now, or skipping a workout now, in both cases instant gratification, we can choose to eat a healthy meal and do that workout (even if somewhat painful) for our future health.

Building this YouTube Channel “Invisible Compass” is a form of delayed gratification. I get for this at the moment basically nothing (except the commentaries and subscriptions from you for which I’m really thankful!). This is a case where there is no real “instant” reward, except maybe that I could do something else with my time.

How to become “better” in delaying gratification

Here are some ways that worked for me. There are many more ways out there, googling it will help. Since I only tried some ways, I’ll only talk about those that I found useful and practical and had a positive effect.

(1) We need to have some goals, and vision for ourselves.
Why should we otherwise delay anything? This doesn’t have to be a grand vision. I assume everyone wants to stay healthy and financially more or less secure (like in the examples). Even if those are unconscious “goals”, it works.

(2) Focus on the process.
Let’s take a scientist, who has been experimenting for decades without success, without any rewards. It is extremely difficult to stay motivated and not give up. To cope, we can focus on the process (while keeping our eyes on the goal). When we like the process, that’s motivating and keeps us delaying.

(3) Being aware of our impulses.
Before we can change something, we have to be aware of it. Without awareness, our instant gratification impulses are in the fog. With awareness, we can see them more clearly and use willpower to turn them down.

(4) Good sleep, a fit body, and a calm mind help a lot.
In combination with (3): when tired, stressed, annoyed, etc. it is much more difficult to be aware and even if we are aware, it is more difficult to stay in self-control.

(5) Avoiding triggers in the first place.
We are humans, we have emotions and are not always behaving rationally. In those cases, it is best to not be triggered in the first place. Not buying “bad” food in the first place, deleting delivery apps. In general, avoid triggers as best as possible.

I’m interested, what helps you to stop instant impulses? What keeps you focused on your long-term goals? I’m really interested in your opinion, when you want you can write it down in the comments, would really appreciate it!

Words of Caution

You may have noticed that I talked about future rewards, in general about delayed gratification, as probable or possible and not certain. Exactly here lies the criticism or better to say, the words of caution regarding the Marshmallow experiment (though there is more criticism of e.g. the different social backgrounds of those kids, etc.). The future reward of delaying gratification is presented to us in this experiment as certain. But life, our future, is not certain at all.

Let’s consider here the words from Nassim Nicholas Taleb:

“The idea that delayed gratification confers some socio-economic advantage to those who defer was eventually debunked. The real world is a bit different. Under uncertainty, you must consider taking what you can now, since the person offering you two dollars in one year versus one today might be bankrupt then (or serving a jail sentence).”- Nassim Nicholas Taleb [2]

With Nassim’s words, regarding the uncertainty of the future, in mind, let’s look at the saving example from before: Sure saving is good, but there is the slight possibility that our bank or even our whole country goes bankrupt (a little bit drastic). And we lose nearly everything. Unlikely scenario. But it’s possible. I’m not against saving, on the opposite. I just want to show that there is no guarantee.

“Delaying gratification means also taking much, much more hidden risks (…).”- Nassim Nicholas Taleb [3]

This is strongly connected to his quote before. It makes sense, what we have now, has “no” future risks. But when we delay something, since we can’t predict the future, it has more risks by definition.

Outro

There are countless instant temptations out there. In many cases, by delaying the reward, with the help of time, we can achieve something “bigger” or “better”.
Still, it is not black or white. We have to use our judgment when delaying gratification is useful and when the risk of losing future rewards is too high. It is often useful to delay something, especially when the other option is mere consumption with no long-term benefits.

Before this article ends, I want to give a short tribute to Mr. Charlie Munger, who died some days ago at the age of 99. He was a hero and teacher for a lot of people, including me. He changed my life for the better. Your Wit and Wisdom will be missed. Rest in Peace. A last quote by him, which covers a part of his life philosophy, including delayed gratification:

“Obviously if you’re glued together and honorable and get up every morning and keep learning every day and you’re willing to go in for a lot of deferred gratification all your life, you’re going to succeed.”- Charlie Munger

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this article, I hope you got some value out of it.
As always, I wish you a fantastic day!

For more, consider following me here on Medium and my YouTube channel “Invisible Compass”: https://www.youtube.com/@invisiblecompass

Sources

Walter Mischel (Marhsmallow experiment):
[0] https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fh0029815

Shane Parrish:
[1] https://twitter.com/ShaneAParrish/status/965594833422245889

Nassim Nicholas Taleb:
[2] https://medium.com/incerto/safe-heaven-e76392796ef5
[3] https://twitter.com/nntaleb/status/1000385354602549249