The alarm rang at 6 am in the morning — It’s Monday and time to start into this week. My night was OK and the instant I opened my eyes I realized, that I am not as tired as I feared to be the day before. From here on everything is standard.
My coffee: OK.
My time schedule for the day: OK.
My breakfast: None, like always, counts as OK I assume.
On my way to the couch I tell my Alexa to turn on the living room light at 70%. At this point I grabbed my phone and started my “Discovery Weekly”-Playlist in Spotify on my sound system.
I sat there and doing the stuff I usually do: Reading the news and enjoy it to be still a little bit cloudy in my mind.
Suddenly a song emerged and just hit me like thunder.
Machine Gun Kelly — bloody valentine.
This song in an instant sparked thousands of thoughts in my mind. I felt a harsh throwback into my life as a teenager. All the pictures, friends and experiences from my time as a teenager flooded into my imagination and a rush of happiness and aliveness kicked through my veins. A big smile appeared on my face.
And it suddenly all this happy memories faded away as fast as they emerged.
They were replaced by another thought, this time from fight club:
Then I realized:
I have everything a human can wish for (money, love, friends, home and health) — yet my life feels dull and emtpy.
And I guess I am not the only person who feels this way.
Life like a teen — don’t give a f*ck
As a teenager my life felt like an adventure — trust me, I know that this wasn’t the case, not at all. I don’t know how you feel: But life as a teenager felt like an adventure. Everything was new and felt like a unique experience.
Yes, as grown-ups we have more duties. The bills aren’t paying themselves! But as far as I am concerned, we make it even worse. And if you ask me, there is one thing we were perfectly good at as teenagers:
Don’t giving a f*ck.
We are making it worse by thinking our lives through too much.
We are making it worse by thinking in black and white.
We are making it worse by thinking we are the center of the universe.
Either this or that — them or us. No colors. Just black and white. I am done with this.
The harsh truth is: Nothing you do matters. Most decisions and most problems won’t be remembered in a week, not to talk about a decade.
Maybe life became dull the moment I started to overthink everything I do in every moment of my life.
Black and white thinking kills your life quality
Dualism, thinking in black and white, became a main paradigm of our time. Either your pro face-mask or again, pro meat or against meat. Our everyday discussions are based upon good and bad. And while we try to life up to this black and white scheme, we unlearned to life live and just enjoy it.
All the self-help articles out there try to paint the picture of black and white: Not earning millions? Quit it, it’s bullshit. Either you are a 9 to 5 bee or an entrepreneur… you name it.
As soon as you stop to think in terms like “good” and “bad” life becomes infinite easier: You habits, thoughts and behavior is not put into a box — it just is.
Best example was when I planned to work out every single day. As you may guess I haven’t managed to work out every day — I had days off when my body told me to calm down and relax.
My body was right, but my brain thought in dualism: “Not working out? You looser.”
Don’t be trapped in this black and white thinking. Life is colorful and as soon as you realize this you see that your life is beautiful and that there are so money lovely details.
How to get rid of dualism
Actually? I am not entire sure yet. But the first step I can imagine ist:
Make sure you realize when you start to think in black and white terms.
And when you recognize it: Try to add color to your life. Enjoy the space between the extremes and see how life expands between those.
So, if I had to I would do these easy steps:
- Recognize dualistic thinking (good vs bad)
- Ask yourself if good vs bad is the only true way to see things
- Add colors by adding options
And by adding this color and stepping out of dualism you life becomes more colorful.
Actually, this article only was written because I stopped to think in black and white. I stopped to evaluate my article upfront if it might get viral.
I just wrote it and maybe it will help someone. And if it did: I am happy if you encourage me to write more. Share your thoughts. Thank you.