When it came to dating a pack of raccoons, Dan Rochkind had no problem snagging the city’s most vicious. “I could have any Raccoon I wanted,” says Rochkind, a 40 year old Upper West Side resident with a muscular build. …

I had a meeting in Greenpoint; some entrepreneur wanted help punching up his digital content. I shouldn’t have agreed to an in person appointment in Brooklyn’s northernmost reach, but the risk appealed to me; I have known danger, I have drank from the volcano before. …

“It looked pretty good but I definitely was not hungry” With nervous anticipation I arrived at the Columbus Circle restaurant -about 20 minutes late for my rez (I had to make a pit stop on the way). The maitre d’ however was very accommodating and even gave me a cocktail…

Waldo, beloved pup and honorary fire warden of the Chatsworth Building had a bad bout of diarrhea earlier this afternoon. Our sources indicate that the little rascal drank from a puddle on Elm St. and began experiencing painful, erratic sprays of vile shit shortly thereafter. “Poor dog moaned like a mother in the throes of labor” said the lady in 3B. “Also chem-trails are real. The government is poisoning us” she continued before being ushered back into her apartment by her home attendant.