It’s Absurd How Much We Suck as a Nation
Holly Wood, PhD

Dear America

I feel weird responding to this as I am a South African, not an American. However I’ve developed a morbid fascination with your political system during my time at varsity - you guys really do have it all, and yet you’ve managed to not only shit all over your own kitchen floor but much of the world’s too, particularly kitchens belonging to poor countries filled with brown people.

Your staged-managed democracy is kept afloat by money laundering(your campaign finance system) and America’s near infinite sentimentality. How else can millions of you adore Obama after what he has done in the Middle East? And then there’s Hillary Clinton…who will undoubtedly continue with Obama’s neoliberal policies. You’ve got to love liberals.

And yeah yeah I know, they’re better than the batshit republicans; but you shouldn’t get a gold star just for being better than fascists.

Please don’t get offended. I mean as a South African I’m in no position to judge — we’re currently in the midst of the biggest neoliberalism-induced political/economic crisis since the end of Apartheid. Over the past year us students have witnessed the biggest militarization of campuses since the 1980’s, and worryingly it looks like the state would rather deploy the army onto campuses than relinquish itself from the teat if white monopoly capital in order to provide a sustainable educational system.

I guess the point I’m trying to make is that you guys aren’t alone in royally fucking up. I mean sure when you do it generally means a country has just been flattened, but just know that you certainly aren’t the only ones hurtling towards the precipice of oblivion.

Or fascism perhaps?

Either way we’re all probably going to be literally drowning in 50 years time so perhaps we should try enjoy this mess while we still can.